


SVT Group Chatterbox

by FabulousMe



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 96 liners are competitve, Don't Judge Me, I completely surrendered, I'm in a slump, M/M, Multi, NUFF SAID, Plot What Plot, There's swearing, chan's getting rebellious, i've read too many gc these days, it's adorbs, it's all over the place, jeonghan just wants what he wants, jihoon's jealous, jun's a cinnamon roll, minghao is set on insulting everyone - what's knew, minghao takes him under his wings, mingyu wants attention, my wonhui heart won't cease to exist ever, seungkwan loves to interfere, there has to with jihoon around, this is a mess, verkwan bickering over seokmin, wonwoo's protective
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-01-17 20:37:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12373569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabulousMe/pseuds/FabulousMe
Summary: Everybody loves to mingle in everybody's lives. It has it pros and cons.There's hell, there's heaven, a lot of salt and tears (who doesn't live for dramatics), insults thrown left and right, occasionally sappiness and the unwavering fact they won't be able to leave the mess they call a dysfunctional family.Step in the chaotic lives of thirteen guys who have nothing else to do than bother each other.





	1. Taking Off

**Author's Note:**

> I won't bother with revealing the names to the synonyms. I hope I did well enough you can decipher who is who. And some are so obvious it hurts (DivaBoo)  
> I'm currently in a slump regarding other stories i want to write/finish writing but aren't able to due various reasons. So this gc project is some sort of vending out, means I'll update when I'm frustrated - like now - or have no inspiration/motivation (yk how it goes) for any other project that calls me *side eyeing my wonhui series*  
> Anyway, i don't guarantee for fun. honestly it's a mess but srsly who ain't? lol  
> Enjoy~

**Chat: Dysfunctional family of 13**

**DevilinDisguise:** Jun, my son

 **DivaBoo:** should we get scared

 **twixlet:** hes prolly scheming

 **DevilinDisguise:** as honoured as I am over your concern im not  
**DevilinDisguise:** Stay out of this  
**DevilinDisguise:** Jun answer me  
**DevilinDisguise:** You cant run away

 **PrinceHosh:** ill make sure hes a safe distance away from hyung

 **DevilinDisguise:** I swear youre all rude. Wheres your manners

 **CuteDevil:** They left when we met you.  
**CuteDevil:** and use correct grammar.

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** oh shit jeonghan hyung got dragged  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** and no

 **DevilinDisguise:** shouldnt you bother your dog mingyu

 **CuteDevil:** He's a puppy what do you expect.  
**CuteDevil:** He comes running when he smells something exciting.

 **PrinceHosh:** Im not sure if that was an insult or not

 **DevilinDisguise:** doesnt matter  
**DevilinDisguise:** jun you piece of art answer or ill reveal the reason you have a shirt of-

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** you called?

 **DevilinDisguise:** there you are  
**DevilinDisguise:** Where were you yst

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** uh outside...?

 **KittenLover:** he was with me why

 **DivaBoo:** do I smell drama

 **BulliedLeader:** seungkwan stay out of this

 **DivaBoo:** youre no fun

 **CuteDevil:** ofc he was

 **DivaBoo:** do I smell jealousy

 **HolyImage:** is Jihoonie capable of that?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** jisoo hyung!!!

 **CuteDevil:** we get it Mingyu.  
**CuteDevil:** we can all read so you dont need to spam the obvious.  
**CuteDevil:** and no, all youre gonna smell is your incoming death if you dont shut up seungkwan.

 **BulliedLeader:** no violence Jihoon pls

**neverendinggrowspurt:** why are you so mean to me jihoon hyung :/ 

****

**PrinceHosh:** has anyone noticed Jihoon never uses correct grammar with everyone below his age

 **DevilinDisguise:** no and I dont care  
**DevilinDisguise:** back to the topic

 **CuteDevil:** you just answered your own question

 **DevilinDisguise:** my  lovely junnie

 **HolyImage:** I'm getting goose bumps

 **DivaBoo:** hes def scheming

 **Twixlet:** thats what I was sayin

 **DivaBoo:** your point

 **DevilinDisguise:** why were you running around like that in broad daylight  
**DevilinDisguise:** *attached image*

 **PrinceHosh:** holyshit man

 **DivaBoo:** ^ I second that

 **HolyImage:** you look nice with a choker

 **twixlet:** no wonder you sell so well around my neighbourhood

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** thx  <3

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** hyung thats my shirt

 **CuteDevil:** count on mingyu pointing out smth irrelevant. 

**HolyImage:** your shade towards Mingyu is concerning

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** sry mingyu got nothing else on hand  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** ill pay next time we meet up

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** nah 's fine hyung fits you better anyway

 **DivaBoo:** :3

 **BulliedLeader:** Seungkwan  no

 **DivaBoo:** what  
**DivaBoo:** I havent said anything!

 **twixlet:** wasnt necessary

 **CuteDevil:** so was your comment

 **DivaBoo:** youre all rude

 **DevilinDisguise:** welcome to the club  
**DevilinDisguise:** ANYWAYS  
**DevilinDisguise:** ive got a vision  
**DevilinDisguise:** and I want an explanation hansol

 **BulliedLeader:** for whom di I have to pray  
**BulliedLeader:** *do

 **Thughao:** Jun apparently

 **HolyImage:** I wasn't aware you're religious Cheol

 **BulliedLeader:** metaphor Jisoo metaphor

 **twixlet:** the pictures hyung?

 **HolyImage:** oh well I wanted to invite you to church  
**HolyImage:** your loss

 **DevilinDisguise:** YES

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** ill go hyung!!

 **twixlet:** some kid sells pictures of jun  
**twixlet:** makes good profit I heard  
**twixlet:** girls buy them in buckets  
**twixlet:** some guys too

 **DevilinDisguise:** I thought you were faithful mingyu  
**DevilinDisguise:** good to know

C **CuteDevil:** your obsession is turning unhealthy mingyu

 **HolyImage:** That's sweet Mingyu  
**HolyImage:** so is yours Jinhoonie

 **Thughao:** give him a choker for restraint

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** maybe its the bully syndrome

 **PrinceHosh:** I knew minghao got a fetish  
**PrinceHosh:** and girls are weird  
**PrinceHosh:** : why dont they want a picture of me

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** what do you mean hyung  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** I am a faithful man

 **HolyImage:** Jeonghan's just messing with you Mingyu

 **Thughao:** my nunchuks are in reach  
**Thughao:** only a mentally crazy person would want to see your ugly visage 24/7

**PrinceHosh:** im sexy so yk 

****DivaBoo:** youre together? **

****

**Smileshine:** im back from vacay!! ⁀^⁀

 **Thughao:** sadly yes  
**Thughao:** hey seokmin

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** welcome back Seokminnie  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** how was Europe?

 **PrinceHosh:** aww Minghao dont be mean  
**PrinceHosh:** you enjoyed it earlier  
**PrinceHosh:** SEOKMIN MY MAN WASSUP!

 **KittenLover:** pls specify “it”

 **Smileshine:** it was amazing!!!  
**Smileshine:** the people were all so kind *o*  
**Smileshine:** and there was lots of delicious food  
**Smielshine:** I brought some with me back for you guys :D

 **CuteDevil:** get your mind out of the gutter jeon  
**CuteDevil:** and no, don't get down that path Jun.  
**CuteDevil:** thank you seokmin ☺

 **DivaBoo:** why am i suddenly having bap's one shot in my head?  
**DivaBoo:** and omg youre an angel my love!  
**DivaBoo:** ive missed you!  <3

 **twixlet:** reason you dont deserve him  
**twixlet:** missed you too hyung  <3

 **KittenLover:** im not the one sulking in the studio  
**KittenLover:** and is that you attempting to be nice?

 **CuteDevil:** your point  
**CuteDevil:** fuck off

 **DivaBoo:** pls you deserve him even less, you wannabe diCaprio

 **BulliedLeader:** kids dont fight pls

 **KittenLover:** we don't

 **Thughao:** yeah if they did then we have to pick them up from the police station again

 **DevilinDisguise:** isnt that your home anyway minghao

 **Thughao:** oh hush

 **danceprodigy:** what did I miss

 **DevilinDisguise:** go back to sleep channie  
**DevilinDisguise:** your competition is tomorrow

 **PrinceHosh:** the crew's gonna be there to cheer you on!

 **Thughao:** *embarass you mean

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** Minghao... stop being mean

 **Thughao:** what just because  you're too much of a coward to express your feelings?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** …

[ConfidenceLevelMax has left the chat]

**KittenLover:** you're lucky you're not beside me right now minghao

 **Thughao:** ofc Jeon Wonwoo to the rescue  
**Thughao:** feels nice to always be the good guy?  
**Thughao:** I bet you're getting off by it

 **KittenLover:** fuck you Xu Minghao

 **PrinceHosh:** uh guys...

[KittenLover has left the chat]

[Thughao has left the chat]

**PrinceHosh:** nevermind

 **danceprodigy:** why are Wonwoo hyung and Minghao hyung fighting? :(

 **DevilinDisguise:** the same reason why I bother with the rest of you

 **BulliedLeader:** why do I even bother


	2. nuisances all around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan tries his luck again  
> Mingyu is representative of asking stupid questions  
> Minghao&Wonwoo haven't made up yet  
> and Jihoon being done with them all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My frustrations kept me awake so here's another update.
> 
> Mingyu's being an idiot in here. His idiocy is inspired by stupid questions from the internet. I know people say there are no stupid questions just stupid answers but no, not in that case. I can#t even understand how people come up with those thoughts O.o

**Chat: dysfunctional family of 13**

7.45AM  
**DevilinDisguise:** it seems the reason for the  very important conversation I started yesterday got drowned  
**DevilinDisguise:** as always

 **HolyImage:** you're surprised?

 **DevilinDisguise:** no, not really.

[DevilinDisguise has added ConfidenceLevelMax]

**DevilinDisguise:** Jun, be my model

8.30AM  
**DivaBoo:** wow you wont even let him wept in peace

 **DevilinDisguise:** pls keep your thoughts to yourself  
**DevilinDisguise:** one Minghao is enough

[DivaBoo has added Thughao]

**danceprodigy:** salty arent we

 **HolyImage:** shouldn't you be in class?

 **danceprodigy:** I am it's boring  
**danceprodigy:** minghao hyung said he'd help me

 **DevilinDisguise:** did he now  
**DevilinDisguise:** jun answer your fucking phone  
**DevilinDisguise:** usually youre attached to it like its your third hand

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** sry hyung, was preoccupied

 **PrinceHosh:** were you jerking off?

 **CuteDevil:** were you waiting for an opportunity to say that?  
**CuteDevil:** why are up anyway?

 **HolyImage:** what lead you to that conclusion soonyoung?  
**HolyImage:** and be more considered, chan and hansol are in this chat

 **PrinceHosh:** I don't see the problem?  
**PrinceHosh:** woke up by my neighbours arguing again

 **Danceprodigy:** neither do I 

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** I was not!

 **PrinceHosh:** if you say so...

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** anyway what do you want jeonghan hyung?

 **DevilinDisguise:** haven't you read the chat? Ah, forget it  
**DevilinDisguise:** I want you modelling for my new cloth line

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** why me?

 **DevilinDisguise:** cause you're sex on two legs

[DivaBoo added KittenLover]

**BulliedLeader:** Jeonghan! There are children around!

 **DevilinDisguise:** fine  
**DevilinDisguise:** and cause I have a vision  
**DevilinDisguise:** dark, leather, choker, ropes and you

 **danceprodigy:** you are aware we're off age hyung?

 **KittenLover:** the fuck is this

 **smileshine:** welcome back hyung

 **Thughao:** I agree. I didn't wake up to read about Jeonghan's kinks  
**Thughao:** and his pathetic attempts to flirt

 **PrinceHosh:** should we elaborate on yours then minghao?

 **danceprodigy:** jeonghan wants jun as his next model

 **BulliedLeader:** why is everyone on their phones despite having classes

 **KittenLover:** I skipped  
**KittenLover:** jun's sick

 **DevilinDisguise:** and you would know that cause?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** he's nursing me

 **PrinceHosh:** ooh I GET it,  preoccupied

 **KittenLover:** another word and I kick your ass to the moon

 **Smileshine:** that's sweet of you wonwoo!  
**Smileshine:** the nursing I mean, not the kicking  
**Smileshine:** you shouldn't kick anybody

9.00AM  
**DivaBoo:** good morning everyone, what a wonderful chat to wake up to  
**DivaBoo:** i smell love in the air

 **BulliedLeader:** should I question why you too aren't in class?  
**BulliedLeader:** all I smell are jeonghan's burnt eggs

 **DevilinDisguise:** let me live, cheol. I cant be a successful fashionguru  and a cooking genius  
**DevilinDisguise:** for that I have mingyu 

**DivaBoo:** huh, hyung, im on my internship, did you forget?

 **HolyImage:** speaking of mingyu, shouldn't he have let himself known already?

 **Thughao:** official reason:he's making breakfast  
**Thughao:** inofficial one: that idiot forgot to charge his phone over night

 **DivaBoo:** explains his absence  
**DivaBoo:** btw what is this about junnie being sick?

 **KittenLover:** he caught a cold

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** don't worry I'll be fine  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** wonwoo's taking good care of me  <3

 **KittenLover:** jun what did I say?  
**KittenLover:** put away your phone, you need rest

 **twixlet:** I came to find Seungkwan glaring at his phone and muttering curses  
**twixlet:** only to hear him squealing like a teenage girl  
**twixlet:** care to fill me in?

 **PrinceHosh:** nah its only wonwoo wielding his dictator power over junnie  
**PrinceHosh:** poor him

 **Smileshine:** I think it's cute^^

[KittenLover has left the chat]

**PrinceHosh:** should I feel offended?

 **CuteDevil:** no one cares.

 **BulliedLeader:** okay enough, everyone focus on class  
**BulliedLeader:** you can talk in between breaks

11.05AM  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** guys  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** guys  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** guys?  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** hello  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** GUYS!!!

**CuteDevil:** WHAT 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** I think I have a problem  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** I mean normally everything you consume comes out again right? 

**DivaBoo:** mingyu thats disgusting  
**DivaBoo:** im eating 

**DevilinDisguise:** are we really talking about what I think we're talking about

[KittenLover has joined the chat]

  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** im serious here  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** it could affect my health!  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** what if it got stuck inside and is blocking smth vital?  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I could die  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE

**KittenLover:** stop spamming, mingyu!  
**KittenLover:** your hysteria is gonna wake jun 

**BulliedLeader:** mingyu calm down  
**BulliedLeader:** we can't help you if we don't know the problem 

**HolyImage:** cheol is right  
**HolyImage:** What did you consume? It could be totally harmless and only needs longer to be organic dissolved 

**DivaBoo:** I cant believe im reading this while my salad stares at me judgingly  
**DivaBoo:** is that the reason you came back Wonwoo? ^o^ 

**smileshine:** hows junnie doing? 

**KittenLover:** finally sleeping  
**KittenLover:** not for long tho if a certain idiot doesn't calm his tits <

11.20

 **private chat:why even** (2)  
**KittenLover:** youve got smth to say?

****DivaBoo:** whatcha mean? **

****

****

**KittenLover:** you know exactly what  
**KittenLover:** stop with those innuendos 

**DivaBoo:** im just helping, be grateful

[KittenLover has left the chat]

**DivaBoo:** wow rude  


11.21  
**Chat: dysfunctional family of 13**

**neverendinggrowspurt:** wonwoo~ im serious  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** its been half a day 

**BulliedLeader:** mingyu, tell us exactly what you ate that makes you believe your health is in danger 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** well, so I made breakfast this morning r8  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** and I made myself a shake with ice blocks cause its summer and freakin warm outside 

**DevilinDiguise:** smhw I get where this is going to end... 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** and after some hours I did, well, a big business r8 

**DivaBoo:** OMG MINGYU 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** what, seungcheol hyung told me to tell in detail 

**HolyImage:** bigger steps are appreciated in this case 

********neverendinggrowspurt:**** fine  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** so my life threatening question is  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** do ice blocks get stuck in the body? 

**DivaBoo:**... its too early for this nonsense 

**Thughao:** ...you're dumb 

**KittenLover:** ^ iIve never agreed so wholeheartedly **KittenLover:** still haven't forgiven you 

**twixlet:** buwahahahaha 

**PrinceHosh:** this is a miracle 

**KittenLover:**...  
**KittenLover:** great you woke jun up  
**KittenLover:** mingyu, soonyoung, im gonna kill you 

**PrinceHosh:** why me?! 

**CuteDevil:** cause you're a nuisance  
**CuteDevil:** you all are 

**DevilinDisguise** ive been once more ignored  
**DevilinDisguise** I appreciate all your efforts  
**DevilinDisguise** jun we're not done  
**DevilinDisguise** and jihoonie, you need to work on your social skills 

**CuteDevil:** Quiet.  
**CuteDevil:** You are the biggest nuisance of them all.  
**CuteDevil:** It's not a compliment.  
**CuteDevil:** Gosh, I should just leave you all. 


	3. the crime intentions rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mingyu wants a road trip (and his hyung)  
> hansol jumps on the wth questions bandwagon  
> jeonghan and seungkwan grouped together  
> thoughts of comitting crime increase

**chat: dysfunctional family of 13**

09.34PM  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** so ive been thinking

 **KittenLover:** you're capable of that?

 **DivaBoo:** life's a miracle

 **twixlet:** I can hear your sarcasm from the other side of town

 **danceprodigy:** no food stories again pls

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** let me live, you asked for it  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** and wonwoo hyung, my bodies still sore from when you came over

 **DivaBoo:** no we didnt, u just assumed  
**DivaBoo:** do I wanna know what's implied by that?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** are u done mocking me? Thx  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** we should do a road trip

 **Thughao:** wonwoo forced him to carry all the furniture around  
**Thughao:** he even had to support himself on his elbows and toes for two hours  
**Thughao:** it was hilarious

 **BulliedLeader:** why are on the other side of town hansol this late in the evening?  
**BulliedLeader:** why a road trip?

 **PrinceHosh:** ALERT ALERT seungcheol hyung is in papa coups mode

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** why not? It'll be fun, the films say so  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** we may find ourselves on the way  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** it hurt, minghao!

 **DevilinDisguise:** which film have you seen lately?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** the great trip with Reese Witherspoon why?

 **CuteDevil:** cause you always come up with ridiculous ideas after watching an adventure film, period

 **KittenLover:** call me when this nonsense has left

[KittenLover has left the chat]

**BulliedLeader:** Hansol.

 **DivaBoo:** someone's getting his ass beaten °*^o^*°

 **smileshine:** you shouldnt feel so happy about it

 **DivaBoo:** why not, it's great

 **HolyImage:** isnt there a specific word describing seungkwan's emotions towards hansol 90% of the day

 **danceprodigy:** schadenfreude

 **PrinceHosh:** scha- what?? Wtf comes up with such strange names?? how do you even pronounce that??

 **danceprodigy:** the German apparently

 **DevilinDisguise:** why do you know such words, channie

 **Thughao:** He's my pupil, anymore questions?

 **DevilinDisguise:** I shouldve known. U sure seungkwan aint under ur wings too?

 **Thughao:** as much as I like to take the praise, it's all seungkwan's own effort to be superior to some

 **DivaBoo:** aw thx hyung :*

 **twixlet:** since when do u use honorific with Minghao?  
**twixlet:** and whats with that kiss smiley??  
**twixlet:** meeting up with mingyu, hyung. We're tryna out a new food restaurant

 **DivaBoo:** since when did u earn the right to interrupt my conversations? 

**HolyImage:** I did  
**HolyImage:** we need cars and provisions

 **DevilinDisguise:** aaah my lovely jisoo's being a savage, how lovely~

 **PrinceHosh:** wonwoo and minghao could do that right  
**Prince Hosh:** Jun too  
**PrinceHosh:** that way they can bond again

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** fuck off

 **DivaBoo:** ...

 **PrinceHosh:** ...

 **DevilinDisguise:** …  
**DevilinDisguise:** wow I must say that hit even me

 **CuteDevil:** Minghao

 **Thughao:** why am I dragged into this?

 **CuteDevil:** What have you taught Jun? He doesn't curse in any way and form

 **Thughao:** why am I being blamed?

 **DivaBoo:** are you srsly asking?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** uhm … guys?  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** that wasn't me but wonwoo

 **BulliedLeader:** it was obvious, those words are his default life motto

 **CuteDevil:** why was he on your phone?

 **DevilinDisguise:** very subtle jihoonie

 **CuteDevil:** No remarks from the peanut gallery.

 **twixlet:** peanuts are yummy  
**twixlet:** I had psychology today

 **DivaBoo:** and we care cause?

 **smileshine:** it's def random

 **twixlet:** shut up  
**twixlet:** we've discussed multiple personalities and such  
**twixlet:** now im wondering if someone who got like 5 different personalities-

 **DevilinDisguise:** are we talking about Jihoonie?

 **CuteDevil:** I refuse to stoop down your level and take the bait.

 **twixlet:** guys, this is a question that bothered me the whole day

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** shoot, I'm listening^^

[KittenLover has joined the chat]

**twixlet:** I knew I can count on u hyung :D

 **danceprodigy:** wonwoo hyung, ur like a tsundere, coming and leaving all the time

 **twixlet:** so as I was sayin if said person threatens to kill himself does it count as a hostage situation?  
**twixlet:** minghao u got an apprenticeship for the police r8 

**KittenLover:** I advise you to think before spilling ridiculousness chan

 **BulliedLeader:** are we currently debating how to bail Jihoon out of court?  
**BulliedLeader:** btw it's way too late to discuss philosophical stuff =.=

10PM  
**Thughao:** I feel mingyu's stupidity transferring to u hansol  
**Thughao:** u should remove yourself before the tainted energy stains seokmin  
**Thughao:** just tell one of the other personalities to knock themselves out

 **smileshine:** why am I in that equation?

 **PrinceHosh:** isnt that criminal play? Also then u have be in court too

 **smileshine:** u need to sear the truth in court

 **Thughao:** pls as if they'd know if I was lying or not  
**Thughao:** also they whole hypothetical situation is complete nonsense

 **DevilinDisguise:** seokminnie sometimes ur more oblivious than junnie and that should mean smth, right wonwoo?

 **DivaBoo:** * snicker *

 **KittenLover:** I let you know that my criminal record contains taking drastic measure against assuming shenanigans of gossip lovers

 **CuteDevil:** I appreciate your concern regarding me becoming a criminal but I agree with Minghao.  
**CuteDevil:** mingyu ain't the right source to discuss your classes with Hansol, it'll only confuse you.  
**CuteDevil:** seungkwan, jeonghan, wonwoo, you're suspicious.

 **PrinceHosh:** since when do u apply all grammar rules when talking to the youngsters except mingyu?

 **CuteDevil:** it's  mingyu, the rest still manages to keep some respect.

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** why am I always being bullied? T.T

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** jihoonie, stop being mean to mingyu :/  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** and won, stop threatening the younger ones, that's not very mature

 **DevilinDisguise:** ouch there they were both told off, I adore love triangles 

**BulliedLeader:** jeonghan you're not very mature either

 **DevilinDisguise:** I never said I was ~_^

 **HolyImage:** next week everyones free right? Then we can go on the road trip

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I love u hyung! *v*

 **CuteDevil:** We're still discussing that?  
**CuteDevil:** enough with ur love declarations mingyu

 **HolyImage:** jihoonie, it'll do u good, esp after your concert in two days  
**HolyImage:** and I love u too mingyu-yah

 **CuteDevil:** don't remind me...

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** don't worry, jihoonie, we're gonna cheer for you! ^.^  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** and you've got great skills, you'll rock the stage

 **PrinceHosh:** ahaha I think I never saw jihoon blush so hard!! :D :D ^o^ ^~^  
**PrinceHosh:** ouch what was that for?!

 **DivaBoo:** who wants to bet soonyoung got hit with a guitar?

 **BulliedLeader:** *sigh* musical instruments shouldn't be used as weapons  
**BulliedLeader:** one day we're gonna land in jail

 **Thughao:** dont worry hyung, Im gonna bail u out when that happens

 **BulliedLeader:** I won't even question why u don't even consider the possibility of it  not gonna happen

 **DevilinDisguise:** reality is a wonderful thing

 **twixlet:** one day its gonna bite you in the ass hyung

 **HolyImage:** language!

 **danceprodigy:** u serious hyung, we're off age

 **PrinceHosh:** I bet the maknae line got more action in bed this year than the three oldest combined *snicker*

 **BulliedLeader:** ok enough!  
**Bulliedleader:** it's time to go to bed now

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** but hyung the road trip-

 **BulliedLeader:** BED  
**BulliedLeader:** NOW

 **DevilinDisguise:** dayum cheol being all dominant gives some good ol sex vibes~

 **BulliedLeader:** I won't repeat myself jeonghan  
**BulliedLeader:** if u aren't offline in 2 secs i'll make you do all the house cores

[DevilinDisguise has left the chat]

**PrinceHosh:** I knew jeonghan's the submissive type

 **CuteDevil:** u need a girlfriend

 **PrinceHosh:** nah I have u, my smexy 96 liners-

 **BulliedLeader:** thank u jihoon, due to soonyoung being an exception to everything this time violence is allowed  
**BulliedLeader:** now off to bed  everyone or I make you regret your life choices

 **HolyImage:** u need to get laid cheol

[BulliedLeader has left the chat]

**HolyImage:** the rudeness is growing  
 **HolyImage:** g'night everyone

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** night hyung!! sweet dreams!^o^


	4. ur so easy to read it hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guyhao are successful  
> mingyu's getting beaten up  
> chan's lesson bear fruits  
> wonwoo's showing signs of being territorial  
> he knows how to blackmail  
> the road trip date is finally finalised

**chat: dysfunctional family of 13**

05.55AM  
**PrinceHosh:** jihoonie ur performance was LIT!!!!  
**PrinceHosh:** as expected of a soon to be pro pianist! *^O^*  
**PrinceHosh:** im so proud of u!!!!

 **CuteDevil:** I'd prefer if you wouldn't abuse the exclamation symbol, it gives me a headache  
**CuteDevil:** as well as you sounding like my grandfather, please refrain from such wordings

 **PrinceHosh:** when will u appreciate me complimenting u?

 **CuteDevil:** ha what a funny joke

 **PrinceHosh:** meanie! ° >.<°

06.30AM  
**DevilinDisguise:** isnt that the shipname for mingyu and wonwoo?  
**DevilinDisguise:** and tf are u up so early?!

 **KittenLover:** don't

 **DevilinDisguise:** u got smth to hide~?

 **KittenLover:** a murder involving you if you don't shut up  
**KittenLover:** and usually every normal person going to work goes up around that time, smth you're not familiar with I guess

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** u did really well hyung!  
**neverendinggrowsprt:** btw, isnt it difficult for u to reach the brake pedals? I mean u need to be tall for that r8?

 **DivaBoo:** oho someones throwing shade  
**DivaBoo:** in the wrong direction

 **PrinceHosh:** uve got guts mingyu  
**PrinceHosh:** isnt there only onedirection?

 **CuteDevil:** when you close your eyes everything's dark, that's your future mingyu after I made you regret your life choices  
**CuteDevil:** ur puns getting worse soonyoung

 **BulliedLeader:** pls what did I say about violence?

 **CuteDevil:** you never mentioned psychological attacks

 

**private chat: what even (2)**

06.30AM  
**KittenLover:** are you and jeonghan scheming together?

 **DivaBoo:** I do not know what ur talking about

 **KittenLover:** really  
**KittenLover:** remember autumn last year?  
**KittenLover:** I may let it slip to Seokmin AND Hansol  
**KittenLover:** you don't want that, do you?

 **DivaBoo:** … ur evil  
**DivaBoo:** even the devil looks like an angel compared to u

 **KittenLover:** thank you  
**KittenLover:** now pass kindly to Jeonghan to shut his babble mouth or I tell jisoo hyung some very interesting details about his last birthday party which he doesn't remember 

**DivaBoo:** how did u make us believe u were an angel back in our pre-debut days?

 **KittenLover:** that's for me to know and u not to bother with  
**KittenLover:** btw lyrics don't write themselves

[DivaBoo has left the chat]

**chat: dysfunctional family of 13**

06.59AM  
**HolyImage:** btw is the cold war btw minghao and wonwoo placed on hold yet?

 **Smileshine:** as far as I know no :( both are so stubborn 

**BulliedLeader:** it gets a little exhausting tbh

 **PrinceHosh:** Im sure wonwoo caves in if junnie asks nicely~

 **DevilinDisguise:** soonyoung im impressed, u show potential

 **PrinceHosh:** thx?

 **BulliedLeader:** jeonghan no more corruption I beg you

 **DevilinDisguise:** oh I know ur good in begging ;)

 **BulliedLeader:** Jeonghan!

 **danceprodigy:** I dont understand why they're still fighting, shouldnt minghao and jun hyung be on bad terms?  
**danceprodigy:** and ew hyungs, too much info, yuck

 **CuteDevil:** I believe the correct term would be proxy war  
**CuteDevil:** and u know jun can't stay mad for long, especially when it comes to Minghao...

 **DevilinDisguise:** is that bitterness Im reading?  
**DevilinDisguise:** I dont like ur sassiness channie, keep away from minghao

 **CuteDevil:** your eyesight must be getting worse

 **Thughao:** dont blame me, it's ur own incompetence to be a responsible hyung

 **twixlet:** why aint I used as a representative in that proxy war then?

 **DivaBoo:** it's u, what do u expect?

 **Twixlet:** bitch at least a street is named after ME

 **danceprodigy:** isnt it the one with many different trash cans and old shops with things no one uses nowadays?

 **DivaBoo:** reason why he is named after the STREET

 **HolyImage:** ur shade is shining bright seungkwannie  
**HolyImage:** teasing is a sign of affection btw

 **DivaBoo:** dont go down that road hyung  
**DivaBoo:** my affections are only reserved for seokminnie  <3

 **smileshine:** aww love u too  <3

 **KittenLover:** *barf*

 **DevilinDisguise:** are u really in the position to judge wonwoo-yah?

 **BulliedLeader:** its way too early for this nonsense  
**BulliedLeader:** go find a date for this damn road trip, u better have it ready by tonight when I'm back

 

06.21PM  
**DivaBoo:** guys  
**DivaBoo:** omg GUYS, have u seen the MM's cover?!

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** obv, im the owner??

 **DivaBoo:** keep ur salt to urself mingyu, and stop using soonyoung's way of questioning, its annoying  
**DivaBoo:** jeonghan hyung, ur vision, damn, it was awesome

 **DevilinDisguise:** why thank u sweetie, I worked hard

 **Thughao:** u mean WE worked hard  
**Thughao:** I co designed u snake  
**Thughao:** and co owner Mingyu, I own MM too

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** sry didn't mean it like that hao  >.<

 **danceprodigy:** wait what?  
**danceprodigy:** mingyu and minghao own MM, this successful fashion label/ magazine?!  
**danceprodigy:** why haven't I known

 **KittenLover:** I didn't either

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** thats cause u have no sense for fashion hyung

 **Thughao:** it's a wonder u dare go out 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** it's hyung for u chan btw

 **DevilinDisguise:** mingyu's getting sassy, too much minghao rubbing off? ~o^

 **KittenLover:** I don't need sunglasses with earrings that remind me of  minghao and annoyingly expensive clothing when I can get it nice and cheap

 **DivaBoo:** thats nice and all but can we return to the topic?

 **DevilinDisguise:** which was?

 **DivaBoo:** wen junhui  
**DivaBoo:** were u a porno star in another life? That cover should be illegal  
**DivaBoo:** im surprised none has gotten pregnant yet

 **CuteDevil:** tf u talking about

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** the MM cover, our magazine

 **PrinceHosh:** I bought one!!!  
**PrinceHosh:** dayumm some hotties in there, esp the 2 draping themselves over junnie

 **CuteDevil:** come again

 **KittenLover:** who 

**DevilinDisguise:** aw junnies protection squad on high alert

 **danceprodigy:** isnt one of them mingyu?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** well, I do work as a model here and there

[CuteDevil has left the chat]

[KittenLoverhas left the chat]

**PrinceHosh:** way to go

 **DevilinDisguise:** u got my prayers  
**DevilinDisguise:** who wants to bet that wonwoo and jihoonie knock on mingyu's door in the next hour

 **Thughao:** as long as they keep the door in its hinges I dont care

 **PrinceHosh:** imma join

 **DivaBoo:** why

 **PrinceHosh:** I just saw that junnie's almost half naked  
**PrinceHosh:** no one beside me is allowed to see more of his skin than necessary  
**PrinceHosh:** jun's mine!

 **Thughao:** why are all of u 96 liners so obsessed with jun hyung

 **PrinceHosh:** it's called LOVE and AFFECTION, smth I know u can't handle minghao  
**PrinceHosh:** now let me fulfil my quest

[PrinceHoshhas left the chat]

**DivaBoo:** where are jisoo hyung and seungcheol hyung when u need some maturity

 **danceprodigy:** arent they at this congress were no phones are allowed?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** nah jisoo hyung's on a church meeting

 **DivaBoo:** it was a metaphor u idiots, im well informed about their whereabouts

[DivaBoo changed the chat name to dysfunctional family of currently 11]

**DevilinDisguise:** why am I excluded?  
 **DevilinDisguise:** where are hansol and seokmin, seungkwannie?

 **DivaBoo:** why are u asking me

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** aint u 3 like in a relationship?

 **DivaBoo:** my heart belongs to seokmin only, not that parasite that nests in our wonderful home

 **DevilinDisguise:** shouldnt u be bothered by BOTH their absence then

 **DivaBoo:** I can see ur bait miles away, u cant trap me  
**DivaBoo:** seokmin was dragged to china, his parents want to spend more time with him

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** bless rich fams who know how much love is worth

 **Thughao:** are u sayin poor families dont know it's worth?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** uh thats not what I meant  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** its just that the poor appreciate it more

 **Thughao:** oh so u saying cause they have nothing else its obvious??

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** nonono hao u misunderstand, it's not-  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** ouch! Tf is wrong with-  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** oh jihoon hyung  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** and wonwoo hyung... whatcha doing here?

 **DevilinDisguise:** ha! Not even an hour, a new record!

[Thughao addedKittenLover, CuteDevil and PrinceHosh]

**Thughao:** Where's jun hyung? If u 2 gonna beat that retard up I dont wanna be near and let my ears assaulted by his pathetic begging

 **KittenLover:** skyping with his parents

 **CuteDevil:** he should be down in town by now though  
**CuteDevil:** dont let him know what we did

 **DevilinDisguise:** should we be concerned about the fact that u seem to be informed about every step he does?  
**DevilinDisguise:** and ur aware hes in this chat too right?

 **CuteDevil:** concern yourself with your non-existent love life.

 **KittenLover:** Jun is too lazy to read all of it, so we just need to spam

 **neverendingrowspurt:** u cant do that to me minghao, im sry, I didnt mean to insult u, u know I admire u  
**neverendingrowspurt:** pls dont leave me alone with those two-

 **PrinceHosh:** u mean 3 bitch

 **neverendingrowspurt:** soonyoung hyung?! Why are u here too?

 **PrinceHosh:** im making u pay for letting the world see my precious  
**PrinceHosh:** look at this my fellas

 **KittenLover:** mingyu, ur dead

 **danceprodigy:** ive got a question  
**danceprodigy:** if ur all in the same room why are u texting each other? And isnt the phone in the way if u wanna fight?

 **neverendingrowspurt:** nobody wanna fight!  
**neverendingrowspurt:** pls let me live wonwoo hyung

 **CuteDevil:** I do 

**DevilinDisguise:** cant argue with that, but pls hold it low key yes?

 **KittenLover:** sure hyung, see ya later

 **neverendingrowspurt:** noooo  
**neverendingrowspurt:** guys, u cant do that to me-

[neverendingrowspurt has left the chat]

**private chat: chinaline**

08.00PM  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** Hey^-^ u called?

 **Thughao:** jun hyung where were u! I needed u with ur squad acting up

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** what squad? O.o and sry, was busy downtown

 **Thughao** : u probably just got lost in thoughts again and didnt know where to go 

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** I- I wasnt... urgh fine u know me too well

 **Thughao:** ofc I do, now let urself known to the others, they're worried sick (at least some of them)

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** oh okay

 

**chat: dysfunctional family of currently 11**

08.08PM  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** why 11? O.O

 **danceprodigy:** jun hyung!! u werent online all day!  
**danceprodigy:** u werent in todays dance class either hyung, I missed u T.T soonyoung went all bat shit crazy on us

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** aw hyung missed u too  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** wonwoo and jihoonie convinced me to skip, yk cause I was sick days ago

[DivaBoo added KittenLover, PrinceHosh and CuteDevil]

**DivaBoo:** u 96er are so easy to read it hurts  
 **DivaBoo:** and to ur question junnie hyung, cause two third of the “mature” older hyung line is missing

 **smileshine:** i think it's cute^.^

 **DivaBoo:** u find everything cute seokminnie  
**DivaBoo:** how is it in China btw?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** smth strange happened in town today

 **CuteDevil:** do I have to beat someone up?  
**CuteDevil:** I wont even question what u meant seungkwan

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I appreciate the gesture jihoonie but no

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** what happened hyung?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I went by this store that sells this super yummy sweets and I couldn't resist so I bought some of my favourite lollipops  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** I know you said I shouldn't wonwoo but I couldn't resist

 **DevilinDisguise:** oho? I think I know the reason~

 **KittenLover:** shut it Yoon Jeonghan  
**KittenLover:** please continue Jun

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** well I was walking down the street when a guy came up to me and said I look like I'm good at licking lollipops

 **CuteDevil:** what

 **PrinceHosh:** the 

**KittenLover:** hell

 **smileshine:** your continuation is admirable  
**smileshine:** how old was that guy?  
**smileshine:** China is nice, miss u tho  <3 and hansolie

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** dunno forty fifty smth? And he meant I could probably lick his lollipop better if I wanted to try, it'd taste better too

 **PrinceHosh:** ?!?!

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** uhm I missed a couple of parts due to preparing dinner but why are wonwoo hyung, jihoon hyung and soonyoung hyung cracking their knuckles and looking like they're on a murder spree

 **DevilinDisguise:** completely understandable

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I'm confused tho 

**DivaBoo:** why? Did somth else happen? Do u need help?  
**DivaBoo:** miss u too seokminnie, lets phone:*

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** nah, I'm okay. But I wonder why he would ask me that when he had no good lollipop to offer?

 **KittenLover:** did you say that to him?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** yup he left with a red head, not saying goodbye. That wasn't very nice :/

 **twixlet:** buwahahaha jun hyung ur awesome!!

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I am?

 **Thughao:** if I say it in jisoo hyung's wordings: bless this child and his innocence

 **DivaBoo:** im not sure if I should laugh about jun hyung accidentally dissing someone or cry about his naïve mind

 **twixlet:** liar, ur laugh-crying over the 96ers

 **DevilinDisguise:** I do wonder how that works anyway. Weren't u the one talking about masturbation in restrooms and such? How can u be oblivious when someone talks dirty to u?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** he talked dirty to me? O.o

 **DevilinDisguise:** sweetie, that guy is ancient and a pervert, of course he was

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** oh good thing I didn't try it then

 **KittenLover:** next time I'm coming with you, I won't let anybody like that near you again

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** that's sweet, thank you Won  <3  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** btw, I still have your hoodie, do you want it back?

 **KittenLover:** nah keep it, I like it on you 

**Thughao:** wonwoo becomes more territorial with each day passing by

 **DivaBoo:** ur argument needs to stop

 **CuteDevil:** he's like that since day one

 **smileshine:** I find it sweet how he takes care of junnie

 **KittenLover:** could you leave your opinions to yourself? Or do it somewhere else

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I don't know why everyone's so surprised? Wonwoo is really caring  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** and what argument? Wonwoo apologised, minghao too when I asked them 

**DevilinDisguise:** whipped  
**DevilinDisguise:** with that being said g'night  
**DevilinDisguise:** and make sure next weekend ur free, then the road trip begins

 **PrinceHosh:** why are u the one to decide?

 **DevilinDisguise:** cause Im ur only parent left and I hold the sword of authority, no complaints

 **CuteDevil:** a true dictator

 

11.00PM  
**BulliedLeader:** tf happened in the time we weren't present?!

 **HolyImage:** just the usual mess when two third of the parents are out and the irresponsible one in charge

 **BulliedLeader:** I should have guessed... and it was a congress called an alternative world without digitalism...

 **HolyImage:** at least wonwoo and minghao made up

[BulliedLeader changed the chat name todysfunctional gossip family of 13]


	5. Let the fun begin pt1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the road trip get's starting  
> seungkwan's bitch mode is on non-stop  
> wonwoo's sulky  
> apparently wrong car distribution for those two  
> they haven't even reached their destination yet there already was drama and tears fell

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**

08.44AM  
 **BulliedLeader:** care to enlighten me why soonyoung's been acting like the world has ended for a few days now?

**CuteDevil:** I'd love to if the idiot would open his mouth. He drives me nuts with all the sighing he does.

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** put on ear phones

**PrinceHosh:** ur horrible, wen junhui!

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** it's your own fucking fault. He has a boyfriend for 2 years, what do you expect

**PrinceHosh:** still!!!

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** No. You went in with the knowledge he was off limits. You don't get to act like he shot you down without giving you a chance. Get over your forced crush

**DevilinDisguise:** … wow  
 **DevilinDisguise:** im not sure if I should clap or be shocked about jun's harshness and his capability to swear

**PrinceHosh:** it's easier said than done!  
 **PrinceHosh:** and dont act like ur an expert in love and life. All u do is hide and pretend  
 **PrinceHosh:** minghao's right, ur a coward

**smileshine:** who we're talking about?

**KittenLover:** Taemin

**smileshine:** the famous dancer in the clubs?

**KittenLover:** the one and only, also soonyoung's pretend “person of interest“

**PrinceHosh:** how did u know?

**KittenLover:** you're the easiest person to read and Jun told me  
 **KittenLover:** btw another bad word and I pay you a visit, you don't want that, do you?

**CuteDevil:** of fucking course he did, what's knew.  
 **CuteDevil:** Why didn't you tell me, Junnie?

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** I'm sorry, Jihoonie, I just needed to take it off my chest and Wonwoo was nearby

**CuteDevil:** So he wasn't your first choice per se.

**DevilinDisguise:** I can hear ur smugness from my room

**neverendinggrowspurt:** what did I miss??

**Thughao:** u could scroll up to find out, u lazy ass 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** says the one waiting for a summary so he doesn't have to do exactly that  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** do I have to remind u that it was u who asked me to ask?

**Thughao:** do u have to sell me out like that?

**DevilinDisguise:** I keep wondering how mingyu makes it work to be all daddy when it comes to minghao but be a complete clumsy puppy to the rest 

**HolyImage:** I prefer if you didn't use the word daddy in context with the younger ones, it's disturbing 

**DevilinDisguise:** your pretend modesty is disturbing

**HolyImage:** at least I got some

**BulliedLeader:** stop bickering u two and get ready, I'm downstairs waiting for u jisoo

**DevilinDisguise:** why not me?!

**BulliedLeader:** jun picks u up, remember? And I swear if u make him wait I personally gonna kick ur ass later

**DevilinDisguise:** kinky ;)

**BulliedLeader:** …

**danceprodigy:** I swear u all fail to fulfil ur role as our “parents”...

09.30AM  
 **DivaBoo:** why tf is mingyu so tall?! I can't see a thing outside, not to mention his sneezing gets on my nerves  >.<

**PrinceHosh:** his username says it all  
 **PrinceHosh:** tbh it wasn't very strategic to plant urself behind mingyu #nosympathy

**DivaBoo:** how tf was I supposed to know?  
 **DivaBoo:** and # are used on twitter u idiot

**PrinceHosh:** duh minghao made sure to sit the farthest away, meaning the other van   
**PrinceHosh:** do I look like I care??

**neverendinggrowspurt:** its not my fault I got a little cold

**DevilinDisguise:** have u taken ur medicine mingyu?

**neverendinggrowspurt:** of course hyung, packed it in and all

**DevilinDisguise:** good. Kids take care, I don't want more of u sick on this trip

**danceprodigy:** ur just worried seungcheol hyung gets sick and he won't be able to fulfil his role as ur slave anymore

**PrinceHosh:** wow chan's getting saltier every day that passes

**Thughao:** my lessons pay off :)

**twixlet:** I grow uneasy when I see a smiley in minghao's messages

**HolyImage:** leave minghao alone hansol

**twixlet:** why am I being told off? I just voiced my current emotional state

**Thughao:** :)

**DivaBoo:** ok now even I get the creeps

[DivaBoo created a new chat]  
[DivaBoo named the chat **the car with the pest and without sunshine:(]**   
[DivaBoo added BulliedLeader, HolyImage, neverendinggrowspurt, PrinceHosh, KittenLover and<>>/cite> twixlet]

**twixlet:** wow im surprised u added me, I feel honoured

**DivaBoo:** another stupid word and I make u shut up

**neverendinggrowspurt:** enlighten me why u created this chat when we're all in the same car meaning we can talk to each other??

**DivaBoo:** duh I don't wanna talk to the pest therefore im gonna type  
 **DivaBoo:** plus seungcheol hyung ain't the best driver around and his concentration drops when theirs chatter behind him → safety measures for all of us  
 **DivaBoo:** not to mention that way we can bitch around without him lecturing us about respecting others and gossip's unhealthy, disrespectful and blablabla

**neverendinggrowspurt:** shouldn't u remove hyung then?

**DivaBoo:** ups ur right

DivaBoo removed BulliedLeader from the chat

**PrinceHosh:** savage lmao  
 **PrinceHosh:** shouldn't jisoo hyung be kicked out as well? Else he's gonna tell on us

**DivaBoo:** nah jisoo hyung 's cool

**HolyImage:** true, I only got one condition: no swearing

**neverendinggrowspurt:** ain't u lucky minghao's on the other car then

**PrinceHosh:** he probably would've swore on purpose, he seems a lit cross with u hyung since u tried to wash his mouth with holy water

**HolyImage:** that kid knows too many cuss words at his age, I tried it for his own good 

**twixlet:** if we wanna bitch why are we only a few? Shouldn't u invite the others?

**KittenLover:** how about you all stop spamming and keep quiet

**DivaBoo:** oooh someone's in a bad mood I wonder why~

**KittenLover:** fuck you

**HolyImage:** wonwoo what did I say about swearing?

[KittenLover has left the chat]

**twixlet:** damn hyung's rly miffed aint he

[DivaBoo added KittenLover]

 

**chat: why even (2)**

10.05AM  
 **DivaBoo:** oh no u don't get to run away jeon wonwoo  
 **DivaBoo:** u will participate in this conversation, understand? Or else im gonna send a certain someone a particular video involving u, drunk and confession  
 **DivaBoo:** u get my drift? 

**KittenLover:** ive never hated u more in my life

**DivaBoo:** was a pleasure to have done business with u ;)

 

**the car with the pest and without sunshine:(**

10.08AM  
 **DivaBoo:** wonwoo hyung mistook this chat with another, am I right?

**KittenLover:** ...yes

**neverendinggrowspurt:** why do I have the feeling we missed smth important??

**KittenLover:** shut up mingyu or I'm gonna spill tea to minghao

**DivaBoo:** oh im smelling smth good, wonwoo hyung continue

**KittenLover:** with pleasure

**HolyImage:** since when are u two best buddies?

**PrinceHosh:** when the topic comes to roast mingyu wonwoo allies with everybody, a twisted sub concept of my enemy's enemies are my friends

**KittenLover:** I'll let you know that I give no fuck whatsoever over anybody and I only tried to be social but as I only get ridiculed I choose to step out and return to my former time spending

**DivaBoo:** ty soonyoung hyung for nothing

**neverendinggrowpsurt:** thanks jisoo hyung!  <3  
 **neverendinggrowpsurt:** and soonyoung hyung, u spared me from wonwoo hyung's malice

**HolyImage:** don't thank me too early, I inquire to know what exactly ur relationship with minghao is so I can take precaution   
**HolyImage:** u don't have any unholy thoughts do u?

**neverendinggrowspurt:** hyung!

**HolyImage** just making sure you'll stay halfway pure

**DevilinDisguise** admit it, even u thought of making out with mingyu, he's one hot piece of ass

**HolyImage** I'm gonna clean ur dirty mind with buckets of water later jeoghan

**chat: mysterious relationship btw 96 liners**

01.15PM  
 **danceprodigy:** hows wonwoo hyung doing?

**PrinceHosh:** U mean the brooding shadow behind me?  
 **PrinceHosh:** It gives me the chills

**danceprodigy:** definitely better than the beaming smile on jihoon's face 

**smileshine:** why is that bad? Jihoon's got a cute smile

**Thughao:** seokmin hyung, he gives even me the chills

**DivaBoo:** Seokminnie, why are u in the wrong car? Couldnt u have switched with the pest or smth

**smileshine:** that wouldn't have been very nice, seungkwan  
 **smileshine:** and it's time u and hansol act nice to each other

**DivaBoo:** are u serious? Come on hyung that's just...

**smileshine:** for me pls?

**DivaBoo:** urgh fine, only because it's u

**smileshine:** love you  <3

**DivaBoo:** love you too :*

**twixlet:** love u too seokmin  <3

**Thughao:** whipped

**DivaBoo:** someone's jealous

**neverendinggrowspurt:** u wouldn't always be under minghao's scrutiny if u didn't try to rile him up all the time seungkwan 

**DivaBoo:** u two can gang up on me in another chat, not here. Srsly, am I the only one committed to the tragic romance embracing our fellow friends?

**twixlet:** u need to stop reading Shakespeare honey

[DivaBoo removed twixlet from the chat]

 

2PM  
 **danceprodigy:** woahho thats what I call bold

**smileshine:** what happened?

**neverendinggrowspurt:** as soon as the car was parked wonwoo jumped out and made a beeline right for junnie  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** he grabbed his arm and didn't let go ever since  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** jihoon doesn't look that happy

**DivaBoo:** it's like a romantic drama with the protagonist torn between the two people interested in him

**DevilinDisguise:** are u sure it ain't 3? soonyoung seems not that happy either  
 **DevilinDisguise:** oh! He started an argument with wonwoo, junnie seems lost

**DivaBoo:** oh my, my life is complete *O* I need to film this, it'll become a blockbuster

**smileshine:** seungkwan pls add hansol back, he's asking me for several minutes now, my phone won't stop vibrating and I'm trying to sleep

[DivaBoo added twixlet to the chat]

**DivaBoo:** tf u doing hansol, preventing seokmin from getting his much needed sleep?! U wanna get punched? I gladly swing the first one

**HolyImage:** seungkwan, u shouldn't be so happy about other people's misfortune

**DivaBoo:** hush u priest, it's no misfortune but a tragic love I see

**twixlet:** in what way is this tragic?  
 **twixlet:** and why are u so hell-bound on injecting pain on me? Do I discover a little sadist in u?

**DivaBoo:** u poor thing for not seeing the grand picture  
 **DivaBoo:** it's impossible for them to get away, soonyoung's the best example: he tried to move on by getting a crush on taemin but the guy already is in a relationship therefore it was never going to work out and soonyoung gravitated back to junnie. I wouldn't be surprised if he selected his crush based on that category  
 **DivaBoo:** so u see no matter what they do they come back to junnie, it's like he's the sun and they're planets circling around him

**DevilinDisguise:** that's... awfully logical... I don't know what to say

**BulliedLeader:** I can't believe u described ur friends' relationship to the galaxy

**twixlet:** it's utter bullshit, u can't pick a crush, either way u get one or don't, it's nothing you can force  
 **twixlet:** and did u just ignore me??

**DivaBoo:** seungcheol hyung, u completely missed the point  
 **DivaBoo:** and hansol shut up, u have no knowledge whatsoever when it comes to love

**twixlet:** duh have u forgotten I'm in a relationship with seokmin and u??

**DivaBoo:** we're both in a relationship with seokmin, not with each other, get ur facts straight

**neverendinggrowspurt:** how can he make them straight when he's gay?

**Thughao:** stay quiet mingyu, don't barge in a lover's quarrel

**DivaBoo:** it's not a lover's quarrel!

**Thughao:** denial is a river in Egypt

**DivaBoo:** this chat focus on the 96er, not on my love life, got it?!

**BulliedLeader:** that should teach u a lesson about meddling with ur friends lives seungkwan, karma bites one's ass

**DevilinDisguise:** r u filling jihoon's role of being the cynic little shit, seungcheol, for he aint in this chat to do it?

**BulliedLeader:** I pay whoever makes u shut up one day tenfolds and now get all back in the cars before I leave u here and amuse myself with ur pathetic silhouettes being stood up in the whirlwind of dust I created

**HolyImage:** technically u kicked us out not stood up, u picked us up after all

**BulliedLeader:** ur cheekiness comes in at all the wrong times jisoo

**Thughao:** as much as I want to applaud u for ur magnificent insult hyung u made seokmin hyung cry and that's a no-go

**DivaBoo:** he did what now?!

 

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**

02.50PM  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** why is seokminnie crying?

**neverendinggrowpsurt:** seungcheol hyung said some harsh words about leaving us here if we don't hurry up

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** oh

02.55PM  
 **PrinceHosh:** uhh guys pls tell me why jeonghan is cackling on the ground while seungcheol hyung's getting a lecture from junnie with hansol backing him up, seokmin is crying in seungkwan's arms and jisoo hyung just stands at the side with a bottle of water in his hands??

**Thughao:** just them being them hyung, don't ask any further

**neverendinggrowspurt:** this really wasn't how I imagined the trip to be...


	6. Quality and Appreciation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeonghan trying to corrupt anyone he can get a hand on  
> mingyu being done with verkwan and complementing the idea of becoming joshua's baby  
> jihoon is on attack mode  
> wonhui getting mushy

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**

11.30AM  
 **DivaBoo:** I have been once again proven right that I'm the best quality 

**danceprodigy:** how come

**twixlet:** he's delusional like usual  
 **twixlet:** oh that rhymes, I can use that for my next mixtape

**BulliedLeader:** no offence but no one cares about ur mixtapes hansol

**DivaBoo:** I love u hyung! And just cause u weren't able to properly communicate u don't need to be so salty, mr pest

**neverendinggrowspurt:** did u 2 buy the groceries I asked for? If not stop chatting and get to work

**DevilinDisguise:** damn mingyu getting all bossy, cheol u should watch out, ur spot is shaking

**BulliedLeader:** if giving over my seat means u going along I don't mind

**danceprodigy:** woah hyung being a savage

**Thughao:** that's the kind of environment I feel comfortable in

**twixlet:** sry mingyu hyung we got held up

**neverendinggrowspurt:** ya serious?? I sent u away like 2h ago! How unreliable are u??

**DivaBoo:** hey no need to get all bitchy, mister. I can't help it if u sent a snail with me

**twixlet:** u were the one talking to those customers!

**DivaBoo:** the prove why I'm best quality and u need to fuck off

**HolyImage:** it's only the first day of the trip, kids, no swearing

**DevilinDisguise:** do u smell swear words, jisoo, or why do u only appear when someone mentions them?

**danceprodigy:** he just stares at his phone and waits for the right timing

**Thughao:** that's commitment right there for a shitty reason

**HolyImage:** minghao

**Thughao:** u can't make me stop, hyung, esp after  that day

**PrinceHosh:** told ya he's still cross about it hyung

**HolyImage:** it's called discipline guys

**neverendinggrowspurt:** shouldn't u use “people” or smth instead of “guys”?

**twixlet:** guys means the same thing hyung

**CuteDevil:** how did you manage to graduate mingyu? Your whole existence is a wonder

**Thughao:** I tell u it's lots of hard work from my side

**smileshine:** don't you just boss him around? Poor mingyu :(

**neverendinggrowspurt:** thank u hyung! Finally someone's on my side. I almost lost all hfbwlvnpv

**PrinceHosh:** the fuck does that mean??

**CuteDevil:** Junnie pinched him, apparently he didn't agree. ^^

**DevilinDisguise:** smth about ur sentence is off and gives me the creeps, I just don't know what it is yet

**KittenLover:** it should be obvious. It's the 

**smileshine:** I never knew the eye smile could be that bizarre  
 **smileshine:** shouldn't u be sleeping wonwoo hyung?

**DivaBoo:** ur so subtle, I'm so proud of u babe  <3

**KittenLover:** I woke up to mingyu screeching around

**BulliedLeader:** stop corrupting seokmin, seungkwan. It's exhausting enough with u, jeonghan and minghao being shady af

**DevilinDisguise:** thank u cheol, I'm honoured

**HolyImage:** u really shouldn't be

 

**chat: unreliable kids (3)**

11.54AM  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** im still waiting u 2! If u don't hurry up u don't get food 

**DivaBoo:** chill hyung, we're on our way. As I was saying it's ur fault for sending me with a snail  
 **DivaBoo:** and what's with the chat name?!

**twixlet:** excuse me,  I had to do everything while u happily chatted with those three wannabe dicaprios

**DivaBoo:** what, jealous they look better than u?

**twixlet:** ur missing the point, not to mention I'm awesome and they don't stand a chance

**DivaBoo:** just cause u hadn't had the qualifications to engage in a conversation u don't need to put others downstairs

**twixlet:** that's rich coming from u, btw ur skills are low quality

**DivaBoo:** LOW QUALITY?! Ya kidding me?!

**neverendinggrowspurt:** u can continue ur lovers spat AFTER bringing me the groceries  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I don't even wanna know if ur only fighting over the phone or vocally as well  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** and u just gave urself the answer for the chat name after this fiasco

**DivaBoo:** gosh hyung we got it

**neverendinggrowspurt:** that's what u said an hour ago and I'm standing in the kitchen staring at an empty table and jun hyung's accusing gaze cause we don't even have snacks!

**DivaBoo:** is there a reason ur all bitchy this morning?

**neverendinggrowspurt:** morning? Morning?! It's almost lunch time! And tf u mean “bitchy”. I had to make breakfast from scratch and if that wasn't enough, some of the others started looking longingly at the disgusting canned food.  Canned food. I'd be damned if I let anyone eat that! So move ur asses or I ensure u eat the canned tuna whose due date was 2 years ago if u aren't here by twelve

 

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**

11.59AM  
 **DevilinDisguise:** enlighten me why hansolie und seungkwannie ran like two chickens whose heads got cut off in the kitchen to dump their bags on the table and apologise to mingyu like he's some sort of king?

**HolyImage:** shouldn't u work on ur next project instead of playing around on ur phone?

**DevilinDisguise:** I smelled tea, u can't blame. Also, this is a TRIP, a T-R-I-P, jisoo. Maybe u aren't familiar with that concept but it means to  relax. It's the opposite of work btw

**CuteDevil:** To be accurate, the antonym of relax is agitate. Work is a noun therefore it can't be directly set as an opposition to a verb.

**DevilinDisguise:** work equals agitation, jihoonie, don't argue with me. Ur all agitated when a deadline nears. And I never cared about grammar rules thank u very much ¬_¬͡

**BulliedLeader** : are u two gonna fight? If yes, pls reschedule it to another time, it's almost lunch

**PrinceHosh:** there's also a function called private chat 

**CuteDevil:** soonyoung

**PrinceHosh:** yes??

**CuteDevil:** my guitar aches to be used and your head seems like a potential good place to attune it

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** aren't ur guitar attacks reserved for mingyu?

**neverendinggrowspurt:** I don't mind them being transferred to someone else tbh  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** and did u have to remind him hyung??

**ConfidenceLeveLMax:** ^\\./^

**CuteDevil:** you're complaining?

**neverendinggrowspurt:** never

**Thughao:** no backbone, I'm disappointed  
 **Thughao:** why did I go into business with u again?

**neverendinggrowspurt:** minghao  >.< u said I'm good in business!

**KittenLover:** the only thing you're good at is cooking so do that and stop spluttering nonsense. Food for thirteen people doesn't get cooked by itself

**danceprodigy:** woah wonwoo hyung being all bitchy, I don't get to see it that often

**HolyImage:** ur shade against ur hyungs is worrying chan

**Thughao:** I'd call it being a realist

**danceprodigy:** thanks hyung :3  
 **danceprodigy:** but seriously, wonwoo hyung's face is so unreadable I sometimes wonder if he knows how to show emotion

**KittenLover:** I do when I need to

**DevilinDisguise:** I'd call it lazy if I weren't the one, and me and u on the same level is just disheartening

**KittenLover:** it's mutual, I don't wish to be associated with you, too

**BulliedLeader:** are u two turning this into a “who's more important” game? Cause we all know u won't survive without me

**neverendinggrowspurt:** hyung I thought u weren't the delusional type

**Thughao:** I never thought the day would come were I'd say I'm proud of mingyu

**HolyImage:** life likes to surprise us in the most strangest of days

**PrinceHosh:** aww it's getting all mushy in here, my heart swells with affection with u guys

**DivaBoo:** I think jihoon would appreciate u removing urself from him, he has this murderous glint in his eyes  
 **DivaBoo:** nevermind, soonyoung got kicked off the sofa

**smileshine:** cheol hyung aren't u gonna tell jihoon off for being violent?

**BulliedLeader:** nah that costs too much energy  
 **BulliedLeader:** and stop attacking me mingyu, it's hard enough to keep the savage ones in control, I don't need u to join the bandwagon – I'd like to think I still get respect from youngsters

**PrinceHosh:** hyung ur friends with minghao, seungkwan and jihoon AND jeonghan what exactly do u expect?

**BulliedLeader:** too much apparently

**KittenLover:** that I can sign

**CuteDevil:** I question why I'm friends with you all. More than half of you are unnecessary ballast.

**KittenLover:** nobody forces you to stay, we can keep it all business

**CuteDevil:** who says I want to keep a business relationship with you? There are lots of good talented singers out there.

**KittenLover:** well, there are a lot of other good producers out there too, I don't need u either

**PrinceHosh:** tf ya guys doing, destroying the good mood  
 **PrinceHosh:** btw I don't need u too, u don't appreciate me anyway

**DivaBoo:** I don't need u all either, esp wonwoo. Hyung u need to learn to be more friendly

**KittenLover:** I need u to mind ur own business seungkwan

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** I don't even wanna know what caused this...  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** and it doesn't matter who you need or not; stop being mean  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** and wonwoo only needs me

**danceprodigy:** woah hyung calm down a little

**DivaBoo:** *°.°*

**KittenLover:** I'm the richest guy on earth

**twixlet:** is that the reason ur sprawled over wonwoo hyung? Btw how do u manage to breathe with junnie hyung's body pressed against ur face?

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** do u really think I would suffocate him, hansolie? Ò.ó

**KittenLover:** I'm disappointed in you hansol

**twixlet:** sry hyung  
 **twixlet:** why are u ganging up against me

**DivaBoo:** simple: don't get in-between WonHui's cuddle time

**BulliedLeader:** what's a WonHui...?

**danceprodigy:** hyung ur so not up-to-date, it's the fusion of two names into one, in this case WONwoo and JunHUI

**BulliedLeader:** why would people do that?

**danceprodigy:** it's a ship thing

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** I like it 

**KittenLover:** can't complain, has a nice ring to it

 

**chat: mysterious relationship btw 96 liners**

01.00 PM  
 **DivaBoo:** my love story full of drama and tragic sails into the sunset!!

**HolyImage:** I'm sure jihoonie has something to say against that  
 **HolyImage:** … see

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**

01.00 PM  
 **CuteDevil:** Could you store your good mood away? You're against majority.

**DevilinDisguise:** omg my baby, you've got tainted by the possessive monster  
 **DevilinDisguise:** and the ugly monster hovering behind jihoonie aint cute either  
 **DevilinDisguise:** and we were happy before u started the whole being negative attitude

**BulliedLeader:** I thought chan was ur baby?

**danceprodigy:** that's a misconception on jeonghan hyung's part

**DevilinDisguise:** ur all my babies

**Thughao:** I decline

**DivaBoo:** ^

**neverendinggrowspurt:** I don't mind :3

**CuteDevil:** ofc you don't, don't start drooling when Jisoo calls you the same

**neverendinggrowspurt:** u think that's a possibility??

**HolyImage:** I'm against infantilization 

**Thughao:** I request exorcism

**PrinceHosh:** the fuck is that coming from??

**Thughao:** everyone seems possessed by strange souls  
 **Thughao:** mingyu's a teenage girl around jisoo hyung, jun hyung lost his taste in a potential partner, jeonghan hyung's brain got fried else he'd have realised that it's impossible to have two kids in the same year and jihoon believes he finds better company than us

**smileshine:** that's a great summary of what happened till now

**neverendinggrowspurt:** this is NOT how the trip was supposed to be!!  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** and minghao, I'm not a teenage girl  >.<

**Thughao:** u squealed when jisoo asked if he could help u with chopping carrots 

**PrinceHosh:** damn mingyu's getting rekt, didn't expect less from u, my little devil

**smileshine:** how do u manage to sound judging even through text? O.o

**DivaBoo:** someone needs to stop with the whole devil thing, I get delirious by just thinking who got the title and who not 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** lunch time! Move ur asses or u can wait till dinner

[twixlet has left the chat]


	7. Of Filmmaking and Old Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> road trip is over  
> jeonghan's ambitions know no limit  
> wonwoo's sneaky  
> hansol's an idiot  
> jun's oblivious as ever  
> jisoo swears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what can I say, the whole chapter is sculpted by random sparks I got during the week so it makes not much sense - well, when do gc make sense?^^
> 
> I had various mood swings, I guess that's reflected in here a bit. I mean, I made jisoo swear O.o May he forgive me.

07.15PM  
**DevilinDisguise:** I'm gonna make a film

 **BulliedLeader:** what 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** hyung ur a designer not a movie director y'know that?

 **DevilinDisguise:** im well aware thank u mingyu, thats why I wanna venture out my comfort zone  
**DevilinDisguise:** as an artist I have the responsibility to let the public experience the utmost potential my artistry can give  
**DevilinDisguise:** and srsly cheol, it's not that hard to read, is it now 

**CuteDevil:** It's way too early for your self-praising parade. 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** it's already 7pm hyung

 **CuteDevil:** Exactly. It'll be always too early for the nonsense all of you are sprouting.

 **PrinceHosh:** woke up at the wrong side of the bed?

 **Thughao:** I believe it's called being done with humanity

 **CuteDevil:** You fail as always, soonyoung. At least it's reassuring to know Minghao will make it.

 **PrinceHosh:** this environment is way too toxic for my complexion

[PrinceHosh has left the chat]

 **BulliedLeader:** now ur going a bit far jihoon  
**BulliedLeader:** I still don't see the connection between your field of work and movies jeonghan

 **DevilinDisguise:** films, cheol, films. Not movies

 **twixlet:** dude thats the same thing

 **DevilinDisguise:** hansol the holiday in america didn't do u good, nor did the trip. Stop addressing me with “dude” or the next time we meet up I'm taking away all ur snacks  
**DevilinDisguise:** u drove me crazy on this trip with ur “american swag” or whatever

 **twixlet:** I've been wrong hyung

 **DevilinDisguise:** better  
**DevilinDisguise:** and I prefer the British style, it has more glamour, not to mention it fits my image of a highly respected, well rounded and elegant person more

 **KittenLover:** in what deranged world do you live?

 **danceprodigy:** hyung's gone insane

 **DevilinDisguise:** I'm hurt channie, u of all people hurt me deeply with ur words  
**DevilinDisguise:** and wonwoo, im still ur hyung so pls at least pretend like u care

 **KittenLover:** my mouther taught me not to lie

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** lying is bad 

**KittenLover:** there you have it, hyung. We don't want to upset Jun now, do we, one of your  lovely dongsaengs?

 **DevilinDisguise:** I cant believe u just pulled that card 

**DivaBoo:** wonwoo is cunning, literally a devil

 **CuteDevil:** I like to object. There can only be one and we already stretch that fact with two, one being an imposter I like to point out.

 **DevilinDisguise:** u talking about urself?

 **CuteDevil:** you fit the whole “ignorance is a blessing” theme quite well. As well as the whole “you like to think you are” concept

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** they do say imagination is the second sign of madness...  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** and seungkwan, weren't u the one who said to stop talking about devils??

 **BulliedLeader:** kids, no bullying

 **CuteDevil:** we're stating facts, you can hardly call that bullying. Except you want us to deny science and make up stories?

 **DevilinDisguise:** I swear the youth nowadays know no respect anymore  
**DevilinDisguise:** junnie, keep ur men in check!

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** why am I called out, hyung? That's unfair, I didn't do anything. You shouldn't place your responsibilities on the shoulders of others, that's selfish

 **HolyImage:** there's truth in his words

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** dang, jeonghan hyung got told off

 **CuteDevil:** finally a quality comment from mingyu

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** jihoonie try to be nicer to mingyu, he's getting hurt by your words

 **CuteDevil:** I only say this once: NO

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** :(

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** thank u hyung, it was worth a try :3 

[PrinceHosh has joined the chat]

 **PrinceHosh:** who made my junnie sad??

 **KittenLover:** I'd like to correct you regarding possessive pronouns, jun doesn't belong to you

 **PrinceHosh:** neither does he to you. So, did you make him cry??

 **DivaBoo:** I believe wonwoo hyung would rather cuts his own arm off than hurt junnie hyung

 **twixlet:** ^

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I don't want you to hurt yourself because of me Won...

 **KittenLover:** it's alright, Jun, I take care of myself.  
**KittenLover:** And you're worth it

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I wish hyung would be that nice all the time

 **Thughao:** nice? That's cheesiness in its worst form  
**Thughao:** I'm gonna throw up -.-

 **CuteDevil:** you're just not that special, accept it, mingyu  
**CuteDevil:** you're such a stampcrab.

 **danceprodigy:** did we change to another language without my knowledge?

 **PrinceHish:** not that I'm aware but with jihoon u never know

 **DevilinDisguise:** even if we did I don't care. Google it and tell us

 **CuteDevil:** jeonghan is a scabberlotcher

 **DevilinDisguise:** I may not know what that means but I'm sure it's an insult

 **CuteDevil:** I'm impressed u were able to connect the dots.

 **chat: MINE (2)**  
**PrinceHosh:** junnie, where are u? I've been waiting for 30 minutes

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** sry soonyoung, there is a zounderkite in front of me who doesn't know the meaning of 100 km/h. It'll take a while till I'm there  >.< I'll try my best!

 **PrinceHosh:** oh okay

 

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**

**PrinceHosh:** uhm guys, what's a zounderkite?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** not u too hyung

 **PrinceHosh:** tell me, I'm curious! Junnie used it

 **CuteDevil:** he described you perfectly

 **KittenLover:** I agree

 **DivaBoo:** judging from ur (fellow 96 liners) reactions it can only be an insult

 **PrinceHosh:** stop talking in riddles and TELL ME!! I need to answer and I can't do that when I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT!!!

[CuteDevil changed PrinceHosh to Klazomaniac]

 **CuteDevil:** I'm feeling a flow.

 **KittenLover:** I'm impressed

 **Klazomaniac:** GUYS!!!!

 **HolyImage:** hold up, I googled it  
**HolyImage:** zounderkite can be translated as idiot, it's an old word

 **Klazomaniac:** thank u hyung, ur an angel!!

 **DevilinDisguise:** excuse me?

 **danceprodigy:** don't try hyung

 **DevilinDisguise:** ur all being deceived  
**DevilinDisguise:** just be aware that I won't let u star in my film

 **BulliedLeader:** first off u need a concept – which u don't have  
**BulliedLeader:** second, u need scriptwriters and a director – which u also don't have  
**BulliedLeader:** third, u need cameras and a set – which u oh surprise! also don't have  
**BulliedLeader:** not to mention actors and actresses

 **smileshine:** woah hyung u can be really funny if u want to

 **DevilinDisguise:** the DISRESPECT  
**DevilinDisguise:** ur gonna regret it one day

 **CuteDevil:** Keep telling yourself that if that makes you sleep better at night.

 

**private chat: 2Devils (2)**

**DevilinDisguise:** if it wouldn't hurt so many people I had killed u already 

**CuteDevil:** Please, you wouldn't even get a step near my direction.  
**CuteDevil:** I finish you off in a blink of an eye

 **DevilinDisguise:** I still like to know what a scabberlotcher is

 **CuteDevil:** I gladly answer that.  
**CuteDevil:** it characterises you so well: it's someone who avoids hard work. Thinking about characterisation, I think we can add gobermouch to that, you like to mingle in everybody's business way too much.

[DevilinDisguise _has left the chat_ ]

 

**dysfunctional gossip family of 13**

03.25AM  
**twixlet:** hey someone up?  
**twixlet:** hello??  
**twixlet:** guess not  
**twixlet:** damn why nobody there when u need them 

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** why are you up that late in the night hansolie

 **twixlet:** hyung! *.* u answered my cry for help, shall every divine creature existing bless u  
**twixlet:** btw it's not late

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** fine, early in the morning  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** and are you high?

 **twixlet:** don't be such a nitpicker hyung. I got a tummy ache, can't sleep  >.<

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** have you tried tea?  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** Rubbing your stomach?  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** Going to the restroom?

 **twixlet:** I've tried everything hyung, nothing works!

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** should I come over?

 **twixlet:** u would do that? Thanks hyung, ur the best!! love u  <3 <3

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** no problem, I don't like my cute hansolie being upset

 

08.54AM  
**BulliedLeader:** someone explain why jun and hansol were up at 3.30 in the morning?!

 **DevilinDisguise:** we can't see in their heads nor do we foresee the future in our sleep cheol  
**DevilinDisguise:** ask them urself

 **KittenLover:** hansol pretty much explained it

 **HolyImage:** seungcheol, stop getting unnecessary worked up

 **Klazomaniac:** does that mean junnie is sleeping in HANSOL'S BED RIGHT NOW??!!

 **CuteDevil:** where did you get that from

 **danceprodigy:** is says so in the chat  
**danceprodigy:** hyung, haven't u read it through?

 **Klazomaniac:** OMG MY POOR BABY! ABDUCTED BY AN ALIEN!!

 **HolyImage:** forgive me lord for what I'm about to say  
**HolyImage:** oh my god, soonyoung shut up. You're hurting my eyes. I haven't gotten any good sleep in the past nights and you don't make it any freaking better!

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** hyung why didn't u tell me! I would've made u a encourages sleeping tea

 **CuteDevil:** ur desperation is pitiful mingyu

 **DevilinDisguise:** I must say I'm kinda shocked jisoo, but also very proud of u  
**DevilinDisguise:** and are we really back to that, jihoon?

 **danceprodigy:** why isn't soonyoung hyung saying anthing?  
**danceprodigy:** *anything

 **Klazomaniac:** am I allowed to talk again?

 **HolyImage:** as long as you quit text screaming

 **Klazomaniac:** alright-y~

 

 **chat: mysterious relationship btw 96liners**  
09.15AM  
**DivaBoo:** what is this I'm reading???!  
**DivaBoo:** jun is with the pest right now? Wtf are WooSoonHoon doing?!

 **BulliedLeader:** shouldn't u be on ur internship?

 **DivaBoo:** it's called multi-tasking hyung  
**DivaBoo:** anyway I can't believe the pest has fallen so low, imma make his life hell, how dare he intervenes with my plans!

 **HolyImage:** your priorities are a bit off, seungkwan

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** u seem to have a lot of ship names

 **DevilinDiguise:** wait, what is seokmin thinking? Seokminnie, my fool, ur here?

 **smileshine:** have I been a bad boyfriend?

 **DevilinDisguise:** What

 **smileshine:** I mean I must be if Hansol is seeking out someone else, right? And Junnie is a wonderful person, handsome, kind, adorable...

 **DivaBoo:** hold on babe, u have no blame in this. It's the stupid head who's at fault. Imma take care of this. Drink ur chocolate, watch ur favourite TV show and I'll make sure at lunch u will be cuddled by us again okay?

 **smileshine:** thanks kwannie  <3

 **Thughao:** I'm touched, must be the seokmin effect

 **BulliedLeader:** we all know u have a soft heart minghao

[Thughao _removed_ BulliedLeader _from the chat_ ]

 

 **chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**  
10.00AM  
**CuteDevil:** Where's Hansol's address? I need to pay a visit.

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** u don't know where he lives?? O.o

 **CuteDevil:** why should I? It's not important.

 **danceprodigy:** damn hansol got dragged

 **BulliedLeader:** I still like to know why two of the kids were up at a time they were supposed to sleep

[ConfidenceLevelMax _has joined the chat_ ]

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** sorry, hyung, I didn't wanna upset you... I get insomnia from time to time, nothing serious but it fucks with my daily routine

 

**private chat: our different world (2)**

**KittenLover:** I told you to come to me when you can't sleep, idiot.

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to bother you...

 **KittenLover:** you aren't a bother, stupid. Next time call me, alright?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** thanks, Won  <3

 **KittenLover:** I'll pick you up from Hansol's, be ready in 20

 

 **chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**  
10.40AM  
**twixlet:** why would u wanna visit me hyung? o.O  
**twixlet:** wait, are we finally collaborating?! °*.*°  <3

 **CuteDevil:** you wish.

 **twixlet:** oh  
**twixlet:** well, I'm on my way to seokmin's now so you have to come another time

 **Thughao:** ur leaving jun hyung by himself?

 **twixlet:** huh, wonwoo hyung already picked him up 10 mins ago

 **DevilinDisguise:** damn, wonwoo's acting fast

 **CuteDevil:** …  
**CuteDevil:** count urself lucky Hansol.

 **twixlet:** ??

 

**private chat: seokminnie's boyfriends <3**

**DivaBoo:** move ur ass, idiot  
**DivaBoo:** be glad I'm solemnised, u should learn from wonwoo hyung 


	8. Trouble in Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan forms a squad - indirectly  
> WonHui act out a cold war  
> jun sheds his cinnamon roll (an exception)  
> it's a mess like usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, actually I planned on doing some university stuff, reason why I stayed up the whole night.Then SVT destroyed the plan. Currently it's 6AM and I started writing this chapter at like 2AM. As you can see, not much uni stuff happened. I'm slightly panicking but SVT is worth it.  
> Imma should do some work now though... else I'm doomed at Monday lmao  
> Enjoy~

**chat: mysterious relationship btw 96 liners**  
04.12PM  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** pls someone tell me what's wrong with jun hyung

 **smileshine:** what should be wrong with him?

 **DivaBoo:** he asked for darts, as many as possible

 **smileshine:** so?

 **twixlet:** he threw him on a self created aim a.k.a a picture with wonwoo's face on it

 **smileshine:** OH should I do smth?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** what I like to know is what CAUSED the murderous concentration, it's not healthy  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** and highly unsettling considering it's junnie hyung we're talking about

 **DivaBoo:** apparently wonwoo was being an idiot and hid the fact that he's been chosen for a two month exchange program in Germany that starts in three weeks  
**DivaBoo:** and no, babe, concentrate on ur work

 **danceprodigy:** wow that sucks, no wonder junnie is that upset, Germany is quite far away

 **Thughao:** he ain't upset about the distance but about wonwoo not having said anything

 **DivaBoo:** u talked to him?

 **Thughao:** yeah and it wasn't pretty, lemme show u

> **chat: chinaline (2)**  
>  **Thughao:** hyung ur okay?
> 
> **ConfidenceLevelMax:** why wouldn't I?
> 
> **Thughao:** uh well cause ur kinda down the last days...? tell me what's wrong
> 
> **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I'm fine, don't worry 
> 
> **Thughao:** is it wonwoo hyung?
> 
> **ConfidenceLevelMax:** …  
>  **ConfidenceLevelMax:** how did u know?
> 
> **Thughao:** wonwoo hyung seems out of it the last days, too, not to mention he looks like his cat died or smth every time u ignore him
> 
> **ConfidenceLevelMax:** my acting skills got rusty °-°
> 
> **Thughao:** don't avoid the subject and spill
> 
> **ConfidenceLevelMax:** … fine  
>  **ConfidenceLevelMax:** well u know how wonwoo barely got time these days and would avoid any questions?  
>  **ConfidenceLevelMax:** Apparently he applied for an exchange program his literature prof offered to him and he got accepted. It's not even the fact that it's all in Europe and I won't see him for three months. It's the fact he didn't care to mention it at all! I mean it's not that hard to say “hey, I'm going to Germany for the next two months due my prof encouraging me”, is it? I actually felt betrayed. I thought we were close, and then he pulls a stunt like that! It makes me feel useless and not worth his trust. I'm not that bad, am I? 
> 
> **Thughao:** idk what to say...
> 
> **ConfidenceLevelMax:** forget it, I shouldn't bother you with my problems as your hyung. Imma mope in my bed. See ya later.

 

04.50 PM  
**twixlet:** u call him hyung?

 **Thughao:** ofc what else am I supposed to call him?

 **twixlet:** dunno, thought u use Chinese suffix or stuff

 **DivaBoo:** they're not u when u start talking English with jisoo while we're around, u rude pest  
**DivaBoo:** and really, that's all u have to say? Junnie bawled his eyes out and is completely heart broken and u care about manners right now?!

 **HolyImage:** and here I thought u started being nice to each other

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** hope dies last hyung! °^.^°

 **BulliedLeader:** I'm surprised jeonghan ain't here yet

 **danceprodigy:** he's prolly busy agonising other people

 **DevilinDisguise:** I'm here bitches and I got a plan

 **BulliedLeader:** here he comes

 **DevilinDisguise:** I'm gonna ignore ur grumpy ass cheol and focus on the prosperous aspects of life

 **HolyImage:** which are?  
**HolyImage:** and no more drama pls, it's enough with jun and wonwoo being off 

**DevilinDisguise:** ur way too cynical jisoo, this is our chance to prove wonwoo's affections for junnie

 **smileshine:** I thought that had been long been established? Therefore the chat?

 **twixlet:** can I punch wonwoo hyung in the face?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** while I'm not one for encouraging violence I'm on board this time  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** he made hyung cry  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** and this chat is created for ot4

 **DivaBoo:** should I add u to the people that joined the “appreciate wen junhui” religion?  
**DivaBoo:** btw ur chat name is very amusing minghao

 **Thughao:** the salt isn't concentrated enough to affect me seungkwan  
**Thughao:** and let me tell u something else

 **DivaBoo:** what?

 **Thughao:** a while ago you lost smth 

**DivaBoo:** did I?

 **Thughao:** yes, ur standards

 **twixlet:** jksihgriognerli

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** minghao's back in the game

 **smileshine:** Damn that's what I call an attack

 **DivaBoo:** u can all fuck off

[DivaBoo _has left the chat_ ]

**danceprodigy:** I think that's the first time seungkwan hyung left a chat on his own free will  
**danceprodigy:** and it's his precious shipper chat, too

 **HolyImage:** miracles still happen

 **twixlet:** uh guys, seungkwan is really upset, just saying...

 **DevilinDisguise:** since when are u one to care? Aren't u and seungkwan constantly on each other's throats?

 **twixlet:** that doesn't matter, I don't like seeing him upset

 **DevilinDisguise:** my senses are tingling, I smell love in the air~

 **HolyImage:** sigh what am I gonna do with you?

 **DevilinDisguise:** dunno wanna join the dark side? ~.^

 **HolyImage:** nvm

 

 **chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**  
05.22PM  
**DivaBoo:** the world is a cruel place to live in

 **CuteDevil:** Stop being dramatic again. My day was shitty enough, I don't need your complaints adding on top of that.

 **DivaBoo:** wow hyung, I appreciate ur concern for me

 **BulliedLeader:** just accept it, seungkwan, you won't get any pity from anyone

 **DivaBoo:** shut up, Choi Seungcheol  
**DivaBoo:** how about u go back to minding ur own business?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** Seungkwan!  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** that's disrespectful, apologise 

**BulliedLeader:** thanks Jun

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** you, too, hyung

 **BulliedLeader:** what?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** Seungkwan is clearly upset, so you should show more support. He's a soft-hearted dongsaeng after all

 **BulliedLeader:** jihoon's been rude, too!

 **CuteDevil:** tattling on others, very mature.

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** Apologise, now!

 **BulliedLeader:** urgh fine... seungkwan, hyung's sorry. Please accept my sincerest apology

 **DivaBoo:** I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to take out my frustrations on u...

 **DevilinDisguise:** I'm so screenshot-ting this

 **HolyImage:** cheol being scolded by Jun will go down in our iconic moments book

 **DevilinDisguise:** don't forget the blackmail file

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** why am I not surprised...

 **Thughao:** those two are the schemers of schemers, jisoo hyung's chat name is a joke  
**Thughao:** its fakeness competes with his personality

 **HolyImage:** minghao, my sweet dongsaeng with a potty mouth, do I have to reach in said blackmail file to discipline you?

 **danceprodigy:** I can hear the honey dripping from hyung's fake sweet voice from downtown *shudders*

 **Thughao:** I doubt u have any real material

 **HolyImage:** really? Remember the first party you were at when you first came to Korea? I'm sure a certain fellow Chinese -

 **Thughao:** huch would one look at that, I must've confused this chat with another one

 **Klazomaniac:** now I'm curious??

 **Thughao:** that secret's I'm gonna take to my grave

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I happen to have good memory, that blackmail is invalid

 **DevilinDisguise:** ya kidding?! That was one of the top ten we have of minghao

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** sry to disappoint, I seem to be some kind of hindrance for some people

 **danceprodigy:** hyung's acting strange 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** I'm positive that comment was directed at wonwoo hyung

 **twixlet:** if it was he deserved it

 **smileshine:** shunned by society

 

**chat: chinaline (2)**

**Thughao:** what do u mean u REMEMBER?!?!

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** Minghao, I'm sure your Korean is advanced enough for that to understand

 **Thughao:** … I really hate when ur upset hyung. Ur worse of a savage than jihoon. Where's my cinnamon roll hyung?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** complain to the source of your predicament

 **Thughao:** I will,later. Anyway, why didn't u say smth? Do u know how mortified I was all this time, scared of u finding out?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** it's not like we had sex, hao. It was a simple make out session. … well, with you adding a lap dance to it  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** it was kinda amusing, now that I think back to it. Oh right, didn't you wear those pink dotted boxers?^^ And I think you were babbling about some hot pant tightening model, too? Drunk hao is really cute

[Thughao _left the chat_ ]

 

 **chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**  
06.01PM  
**KittenLover:** why am I being treated like a criminal?

 **smileshine:** duh are u serious??

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** u hurt hyung

 **twixlet:** we won't forgive u for treating junnie hyung like that

 **DivaBoo:** pls welcome the “Wen Junhui Appreciation” squad, be careful not to be swiped up in their idiocy

 **twixlet:** excuse me, ur part of it, too. I clearly remember u promising hell on wonwoo hyung after the screenshot minghao posted

 **Klazomaniac:** what screenshot??  
**Klazomaniac:** why am I not informed about this??

 **CuteDevil:** I'd like to know as well.

 **KittenLover:** I'm out of the loop, too.

 **CuteDevil:** I also like to know about your sudden hostility towards Wonwoo.

 **BulliedLeader:** oh right, jihoon's been coped up with work, he didn't take notice of the drama

 **Klazomaniac:** neither did I??

 **danceprodigy:** no offense, hyung, but ur pretty dense, esp when ur mind is occupied by dancing

 **BulliedLeader:** ANYWAY, wonwoo upset jun bynot telling him directly that he got accepted for an exchange program and now they're on some kind of cold war

 **Klazomaniac:** he did WHAT now?!

 **CuteDevil:** _Jeon Wonwoo._

 **DivaBoo:** I so do not feel sorry for wonwoo hyung

 **DevilinDiguise:** malicious bitch  
**DevilinDiguise:** i'm with u

 **KittenLover:** why the fuck are you all ganging up against me?

 **HolyImage:** I believed you more perceptive, wonwoo...

 **Klazomaniac:** EXPLAIN YOURSELF JEON!!!  
**Klazomaniac:** OR ILL SWEAR UR GONNA ROT IN HELL ONCE IM FINISHED WITH U!!!

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** guys, leave him alone

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** hyung! How can u say that, he was inconsiderate!

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** a fault confessed is half redressed.  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** wonwoo's stubborn. So am I. We'll solve this our way.

 **DevilinDisguise:** wonwoo be glad someone like junnie exists

 **CuteDevil:** yeah, no one would roast oneself if not for the sake of others.  
**CuteDevil:** Still, I'm not done with you, Jeon Wonwoo. You better have a valid explanation for this mess or you rot in hell with less extremities.

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I said knock it off!  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** urgh, I should've never ranted about it in the first place. Now you're all riled up and make the issue bigger than it is

 **KittenLover:** don't fret, junhui. I _am_ kinda at fault here. Let's meet up and clear this mess? Please?  
**KittenLover:** I miss you.

 **Klazomaniac:** sweet talk isn't going to work, mister!!

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** fine. Our usual meeting point?  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** … I miss you, too.

 **Klazomaniac:** junnie, don't be deceived by that tyrant

 **KittenLover:** shut up, kwon. Or I'll drag you down with me.

10.01PM  
**DivaBoo:** I'd like to receive an adding back


	9. SHORT LIVED STARDOM AND THE BIRTH OF A SQUAD (kinda)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hansol's delusional  
> half of them develop some kind of cult  
> Heechul's becomes their nr 1 nemesis  
> soonyoung is his usual hyperactive crazy self

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just my crazy mind trying to escape from the stressful January. Can it pls be February already? I need a break from university >.<  
> Anyway, my exhausted muse spilled these... whatever this is lmao  
> hope you enjoy ~

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**  
02.45PM  
 **twixlet:** omg  
 **twixlet:** OMG  
 **twixlet:** guys!!!  
 **twixlet:** this is awesome  
 **twixlet:** im dead  
 **twixlet:** I must be dead  
 **twixlet:** how doe sit make snesne???!!!!  
 **twixlet:** m yprayrs hav ben heard

 **danceprodigy:** could you like type in a language we can understand?

 **CuteDevil:** Stop abusing our language due to your inconsiderate and baseless hyper excitement, Hansol.

 **twixlet:** lana del rey used my lyrics!! hukdtktbchjfgdtus

 **DivaBoo:** tf ya talking about

 **twixlet:** look!!  
 **twixlet:** *image attached*

 **Thughao:** dude, that's like 2 words,

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** which u didn't even invent

 **DivaBoo:** not to mention “only seventeen, but she walks the streets so mean”  
 **DivaBoo:** I wasn't aware it's the same as “only seventeen and got a few dollars”

 **Thughao:** he's stupider than mingyu

 **Klazomaniac:** lol minghao and seungkwan attacking hansol  
 **Klazomaniac:** the burn is strong and long 

**HolyImage:** the shade towards Mingyu increases  
 **HolyImage:** I'm concerned

 **CuteDevil:** It's no shade but facts

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** aren't those lyrics to Lana del rey's carmen??  
neverendinggrowspurt: ty for ur support, hyung *o*

 **Thughao:** that's what we're talking about, dumbass  
 **Thughao:** and I totally agree with jihoon hyung

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** why are u so mean minghao?? :/

 **Thughao:** I don't need a reason, ur annoying 

 

 **private chat: ;MM;**  
03.01PM  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** that's not what you've said yesterday

 **Thughao:** … urgh shut up

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** really? I remember u saying the exact opposite a while ago, or rather _begged_

 **Thughao:** I swear, another word and the graveyard will welcome an addition called Kim Mingyu

 

 **chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**  
03.01PM  
 **DivaBoo:** your lover spats aside, can someone please collect the pest from seokminnie's place? I did not sign up for a hyperactive puppy during our lovely date

 **twixlet:** excuse me, I belong to this date, too!  
 **twixlet:** and isn't puppy a synonym for mingyu?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I like to announce a patent on that

 **Thughao:** that's nothing to be proud of, idiot

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** are we defining each other as pets?

 **Klazomaniac:** that sounds fun!

 **CuteDevil:** That game sounds stupid.

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** come on, Jihoonie. It'll be fun ^o^  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** you'd be a bear

 **CuteDevil:** why?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** cause you're so grumpy in the morning. And you're cuddle-ish~

 **BulliedLeader:** I agree

 **CuteDevil:** Shut up, Seungcheol hyung. You act and look like a camel. A very ugly camel.

 **DevilinDisguise:** finally someone's on my side when it comes to keeping cheol at bay

 **HolyImage:** shoulnd't it be _you_ we should keep at bay?

 **KittenLover:** not possible.  
 **KittenLover:** Snakes now how to escape fast.

 **DevilinDisguise:** I filter the compliment out the insult, thanks, Wonwoo

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** jeonghan hyung reminds me more of a mother lion than a snake. He always tries to protect us from harm and is really thoughtful

 **DevilinDisguise:** I knew why I chose you as my favourite dongsaeng, junnie-yah

 **smileshine:** hey! I thought I was your favourite hyung!

 **DevilinDisguise:** oh seokminnie, your my favourite fool, jun is my favourite angel and chan is my-

 **dancingprodigy:** don't you DARE, hyung!

 **DevilinDisguise:** favourite baby ^~^

 **dancingprodigy:** I'll kill you!!

 **twixlet:** minghao seems to rub off you quite well

 **Klazomaniac:** don't tell me he still hasn't given up yet. Poor channie. Or should I say... _baby_

 **danceprodigy:** I hate you all

 **HolyImage:** aw channie, come in my arms. I free you of your burdens and jeonghan's stains

 **twixlet:** i'd like to say that jisoo hyung is a fox

 **CuteDevil:** Not done yet with that stupid game?

 **Klazomaniac:** Why would we stop with something that got you riled up, jihoonie?

[CuteDevil _has left the chat_ ]

[BulliedLeader _added_ CuteDevil]

**BulliedLeader:** you can't escape this hell, jihoon, I'm sorry

 **DevilinDisguise:** quit your fake empathy, cheol  
 **DevilinDisguise:** You only search for an ally

 **KittenLover:** How about all of you turn off your phones and be productive in your classes for once?

 **HolyImage:** we love you, too, wonwoo  
 **HolyImage:** you can't expect me to listen to a stupid debate between my geography prof and a religious student that believes the earth was created in seven days

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** aren't you religious, too, hyung??

 **HolyImage:** not to that extent  
 **HolyImage:** I have my faith and trust in science

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** what a great combo

 **Klazomaniac:** I'm not sure if that was sarcasm or a compliment...

 **KittenLover:** do you see emojis? No. Use your brain, idiot  
 **KittenLover:** jun's not a fan of religion

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** leaves a bitter taste in my mouth...

 **CuteDevil:** Seriously, how do you make it through your poetry and literature classes if you can't even detect the feelings of your friends?

 **Klazomaniac:** stop ganging up against me!!

 **KittenLover:** can't help it, you're too much of an easy target.

 **CuteDevil:** Never read so much truth in a sentence.

 **Smileshine:** it's amazing how you haven't ripped each others' heads off yet

 **CuteDevil:** Don't worry, Seokmin, I've got detailled plans in that department.

 **BulliedLeader:** Jihoon, you really need to receive anger management treatment...

 

**chat: mysterious relationship btw 96 liners**

**Thughao:** do you think they have their own private chat group where they insult each other?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** they definitely have their own chat but the bashing ain't that strong there

 **DivaBoo:** how do you know?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I saw it when jun hyung and I went out for dish hunting

 **DevilinDisguise:** ah right, you two are in this strange cooking class right?

 **Neverendinggrowspurt:** it's not strange hyung, but yes

 **DivaBoo:** I didn't know you're so close you can look through each others' phones

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** we don't like to prance around that fact like a certain someone

 **Thughao:** why wasn't I informed? I feel betrayed  
 **Thughao:** by the both of you

 **DivaBoo:** jealous? ͡͡ .͡ 

**Thughao:** dream on, duckbutt

[DivaBoo _created the chat_ Wen Junhui Appreciaten Squad]

[DivaBoo _added_ smileshine, twixlet, neverendinggrowspurt _and_ Klazomaniac]

**chat: Wen Junhui Appreciation Squad**  
06.32PM  
 **Klazomaniac:** we should invite jihoon!!

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** minghao's asking why he wasn't invited

 **smileshine:** oh my, is he pouting? How cute

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** he says he'll punch u if u refer to him as cute again

 **Klazomaniac:** that threat is invalid if it isn't jihoon

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** minghao says-

 **DivaBoo:** stop!  
 **DivaBoo:** I can't stand another person talking through someone else. Gives me a headache

[DivaBoo _added_ Thughao]

[DivaBoo _changed_ Thughao _to_ whinyElf]

**whinyElf:** the fuck?!  
 **whinyElf:** change my name back!

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** it fits u quite well hao

 **whinyElf:** shut up! It doesn't  
 **whinyElf:** i'm not whiny nor am I an elf!

 **DivaBoo:** hush, child  
 **DivaBoo:** I feel satisfaction knowing my hunch was verified

 **smileshine:** love, sometimes you worry me  
 **smileshine:** you hang out with jeonghan too much

 **twixlet:** finally!  
 **twixlet:** I waited years for you to say smth about Seungkwan's antics

 **DivaBoo:** you want me to kick you out, _hansol_?

 **whinyElf:** oooh this gonna be lit 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** while I'm usually not one to encourage shit like this I do like an argument between seungkwan and hansol

 **Klazomaniac:** you know that Jun will be mad at you when he finds out you support this, right, mingyu?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** why do u type so strangely, hyung?

 **whinyElf:** that's easy to solve  
 **whinyElf:** it's not soonyoung hyung writing but wonwoo hyung

 **smileshine:** for real??

 **Klazomaniac:** how smart of you, Minghao.

 **twixlet:** it's disturbing reading such phrases from soonyoung hyung even if it's not really him...

 **smileshine** isn't it bad that wonwoo knows of the existence of this chat?

 **DivaBoo:** love, it's WONWOO  
 **DivaBoo:** meaning he probably has a shrine at home to pine over junnie

 **Klazomaniac:** your life span gets reduced with every word you say, Seungkwan  
 **Klazomaniac:** you make me want to indulge in violent regions

 **whinyElf:** is that your new kink?

 **Klazomaniac:** it's alright, hao, we all know your BDSM tendencies by now

 **whinyElf:** for the last time I don't have such likings!  
whinyElf: and don't call me hao

 **smileshine:** guess soonyoung's back

 

 **private chat: ;MM;**  
06.45PM  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** Denial is a river in Egypt, hao

 **whinyElf:** I swear, another word and I'll remove you as co-owner of MM

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** you sure you can handle that?

 **whinyElf:** what's wrong with you these days?! It's like you got switched with soonyoung or something!

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** i'd call it evolution

 

 **chat: Wen Junhui Appreciation Squad**  
06.47PM  
 **DivaBoo:** the reason I created this chat on the first hand is because of one thing:  
 **DivaBoo:** Kim Heechul

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** what 

**twixlet:** the

 **whinyElf:** hell

 **smileshine:** I feel kinda out the loop

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** Heechul's jun hyung's twin and kinda obsessed with him

 **Klazomaniac:** Kinda??!! He doesn't let junnie out the house once he got his clutches on him!  
 **Klazomaniac:** he's the worst of the worst, that LITTLE ATTENTION SEEKING GOBLING OF A BACTERIA!!

 **smileshine:** wow hyung, calm down. No need to spew hell 

**whinyElf:** are u describing yourself right now, soonyoung?

 **DivaBoo:** hyung's the epitome of protection when it comes to junnie hyung

 **twixlet:** wouldn't have guessed

 **DivaBoo:** keep your sarcasm to yourself, pest

[DivaBoo _added_ CuteDevil]

**CuteDevil:** to what was I being added?

 **Klazomaniac:** We need your expertise

 **CuteDevil:** Do you even know what that word means, soonyoung?

 **Klazomaniac:** why does everybody doubt my IQ??

 **DivaBoo:** don't know, maybe cause you act like an idiot 99% of the day?

 **twixlet:** I testify to that

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** how rare to see those two in peace...

 **CuteDevil:** Quit the nonsense and explain why I'm added to...  
 **CuteDevil:** the _Wen Junhui Appreciation Squad_?  
 **CuteDevil:** What idiocy is this?

 **Klazomaniac:** not idiocy. GENIUS  
 **Klazomaniac:** anyway, as I was saying, your expertise regarding Kim Heechul is needed

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** we need to get rid of him

 **whinyElf:** as soon as possible

 **CuteDevil:** I wasn't aware I have a formula that includes how to dispose of an extravagant dangler.

 **DivaBoo:** you have a disposal plan for _everyone_ , hyung

 **smileshine:** including us? O.O

 **CuteDevil:** Some, yes.

 **whinyElf:** I bet mingyu is number one on that list ~_~

 **CuteDevil:** Your smartness expands, Minghao, I'm impressed.

 **twixlet:** is that sarcasm or does he mean that?

 **whinyElf:** how did u know it was me?

 **CuteDevil:** You're the first to attack when it becomes mingyu related.

 **Klazomaniac:** how _scandalous_

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** can we focus on the important thing here? Get rid of Kim Heechul??

 **twixlet:** has anyone got a plan?

 **Klazomaniac:** already on it, leave it to the great Hoshi to save our precious junnie from the evil of this world

 **DivaBoo:** your dramatics baffle me every time hyung

 **twixlet:** on par with seungkwans 

**smileshine:** we leave it to you then, soonyoung. ^.^ Fighting!

 **CuteDevil:** Do your thing.

 

 **chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**  
09.50PM  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** you called the police??

 **Klazomaniac:** well, I got no choice, did I?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** seriously, if I didn't know you so well I may consider you being some sort of spy

 **Klazomaniac:** we're not in a 007 movie  
 **Klazomaniac:** not that I wouldn't mind it being one~

 **DevilinDisguise:** _film_ I'd like to correct

 **BulliedLeader** :nobody cares about your sudden obsession with British English, jeonghan

 **DevilinDisguise:** than explain to me why you attack me every time I mention it?

 **HolyImage:** that's just cheol being an unnecessary worrywart a.k.a papa coups mode

 **BulliedLeader:** you attack me too much recently, jisoo

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** CRAP that was the wrong chat  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** sorry guys, just forget what we said

 **BulliedLeader:** what are you little devils scheming?

 **HolyImage:** cheol, calm down. Not everybody is the reincarnation of the devil like jeonghan  
 **HolyImage:** and no swearing, mingyu

 **DevilinDisguise:** I appreciate your love for me jisoo, I do, really

 **danceprodigy:** and they wonder why I don't take them serious...


	10. To The Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jun is a subtle verkwan shipper  
> heechul is extreme  
> wonwoo's past is exposed (bad boy, hello~)  
> soonyoung's possessive over the 96 liners  
> gyuhyao are absent (wonder why *smirk*)  
> 96 liners' antics  
> guest appearances (mentioned only)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sleep-deprives, sue me. (My subtle warning this is a mess - as usual). The recent updates indicate my increasing frustrations. Thank the universe for SVT's existence  
> I promise there will be more WonHui - the tag exists for a reason. But the rest keeps getting in the way; noisy SVT >.<  
> I don't even know where this is going haha this continues to be probably all over the place lmao

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**  
01.28PM  
**DevilinDisguise:** hey wonwoo

 **KittenLover:** yes?

 **DevilinDisguise:** What have you done to jimin?

 **KittenLover:** Who?

 **BulliedLeader:** … are you serious? You scare that poor boy off without showing him respect by asking for his name?

 **DivaBoo:** I smelled tea, what's going on?

 **HolyImage:** How do you manage to arrive always then when drama starts to happen?

 **DivaBoo:** one of my many good assets

 **twixlet:** beside his butt

 **DevilinDisguise:** I'm not awake enough to read about hansol's kinks, guys

 **KittenLover:** when are you awake enough for anything...?  
**KittenLover:** besides, you started the whole thing

 **DevilinDisguise:** stop being smart with me when I try to scold you

 **smileshine:** can someone explain to me why seungkwan's a blushing mess and hides under my kitchen table?  
**smileshine:** I was too lazy to read through all the messages 

**ConfidenceLevelMax:** how cute~ seungkwannie's affected by hansolie

 **DivaBoo:** shut up moon joonhwi  
**DivaBoo:** I'm not affected by anything

 **smileshine:** darling, I don't wanna crush your illusions but your current state tells me otherwise

 **twixlet:** don't be shy kwannie^^ I'm awesome, it's understandable

 **DivaBoo:** I feel already better, thanks mr. pest

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** and we're back to square one...

 **DivaBoo:** how about we focus on the actual topic instead of my life choices?

 **DevilinDisguise:** thank you, seungkwan  
**DevilinDisguise:** I almost got ignored _again_

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** when have we ignored you hyung? O.o

 **DevilinDisguise:** oh junnie, you do it _all the time_

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I do?

 **CuteDevil:** don't listen to him junnie.  
**CuteDevil:** jeonghan's on his drama queen period

 **BulliedLeader:** _Jeon Wonwoo_

 **danceprodigy:** uuh I'm scared

 **BulliedLeader:** explain why a tearful jimin, my protégé, came to me, begging me for forgiveness 

**KittenLover:** how would I know? I have no clue who that jimin is

 **CuteDevil:** it's the guy dancing together with jun

 **KittenLover:** ah, that _leech_

 **BulliedLeader:** LEECH?!

 **DevilinDisguise:** jiminnie's completely harmless  
**DevilinDisguise:** so why did you threaten to remove his favourite hyung from the worldwidehandsome position and told him to dance in another spot during whatever choreo his team way practicing?

 **Klazomaniac:** that's a bit extreme

 **KittenLover:** nobody asked you, kwon.  
**KittenLover:** and I have my reasons. Now shut up and leave me alone

 **CuteDevil:** They're good reasons, trust me.

 **BulliedLeader:** you strengthen my resolve this is utter bullshit, jihoon

 **CuteDevil:** I don't care.

 **HolyImage:** of course you don't

 

**chat: 96ers belong to ME (4)**

**MINE:** I'm sorry guys, I can't come today :/

 **my(younger)brother:** did something happen?

 **MyCutebaby:** You aren't sick, are you?

 **MINE:** no, I'm fine, no worries  
**MINE:** it's just, Heechul wants to spend some time with me since we apparently haven't seen each other much

 **MY(younger)brother:** he sees you every day?  
**MY(younger)brother:** something I'd like to change

 **MYCutebaby:** especially now that he came back from his internship in China  
**MYCutebaby:** where he should've stayed...

 **MINE:** I'm really sorry guys :(( I was looking forward to our movie night

 **Hurricane:** what is this I'm reading about junnie not being able to come??

 **MY(younger)brother:** heechul won't let him

 

 **MYCutebaby:** Can't you just, like, leave? You're a free person 

**MINE:** … he kinda locked the door? And holds wonhui hostage...

 **Hurricane:** BITCH DID WHAT?!

 **MY(younger)brother:** come again

 **Hurricane:** okay, that's enough  
**Hurricane.** Imma come over and smash a window!  
**Hurricane:** we're getting you out of the devil's clutches, junnie, just you wait!!

 **MYCutebaby:** Soonyoung, hold your horses, please. The only effect your method will have is unnecessary repair costs and you being banned from nearing Jun's house on 100 metres.

 **Hurricane:** YA SERIOUS??

 **MY(younger)brother:** he's right, that won't help anything.  
**MY(younger)brother:** jun, you're alright?

 **MINE:** yes, but I can't hide much longer

 **MYCutebaby:** Where exactly are you? 

**MINE:** the bathroom on the highest floor

 **MY(younger)brother:** the one with the red window frame?

 **MINE:** yup

 **MY(younger)brother:** got it.  
**MY(younger)brother:** try to be there in 45 mins, we'll come to your rescue.

 **MINE:** thanks, Won  <3

 **Hurricane:** hey!! why does wonwoo get a heart and I don't??

 **MY(younger)brother:** cause I'm awesome, that's why

 **MYCutebaby:** Did you copy that from Hansol? Just saying, it's not a very appealing phrase.

 **MINE:** I think wonwoo's awesome, esp when he speaks intellectual

 **MY(younger)brother:** take that, losers

 **Hurricane:** junnie, don't inflate his ego more!!  
**Hurricane:** one day he's gonna float away

 **MYCutebaby:** I have nothing to say to that.

 **Hurricane:** junnie??  
**Hurricane:** hello??  
**Hurricane:** moon joonhwi!!

 **MYCutebaby:** Guess time went out.  
**MYCutebaby:** Where do we meet? Should I pick you up?

 **Hurricane:** thanks jihoonie, you're the best  <3 *.*

 **MYCutebaby:** … shut up …

 **MY(younger)brother:** someone's shy~

 **MYCutebaby:** Don't interfere, Jeon, or I'll leave you behind.

 **Hurricane:** can we just safe junnie pls?? I get sick by the thought of that _thing_ being all over him *shudder*

 **MY(younger)brother:** that's a disturbing image you created  
**MY(younger)brother:** and he's still human, you know

 **Hurricane:** doesn't matter  
**Hurricane:** jihoon, pick me up, I get all itchy

 **MYCutebaby:** Alright, see you soon, guys.

 

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**

**danceprodigy:** so I saw smth very strange earlier  
**danceprodigy:** like 1h or so

 **DevilinDisguise:** nothing corrupting I hope? My baby can't be stripped of his mental innocence yet

 **HolyImage:** you do know you aren't his actual parent, jeonghan?  
**HolyImage:** not to mention chan's ain't underage anymore

 **DevilinDisguise:** shouldn't you back me up instead of attacking me?  
**DevilinDisguise:** you always preach about no cursing and whatnot

 **HolyImage:** I do what has to be done

 **DivaBoo:** how about you 2 quit your bickering and let chan tell his story instead?

 **danceprodigy:** that'd be appreciated, tyvm  
**danceprodigy:** as I was saying, I walked around the neighbourhood after practice ended cause I was bored and wasn't keen on returning home-

 **BulliedLeader:** your parents still fighting?

 **danceprodigy:** yeah but safe that for another time

 **DevilinDisguise:** you walked alone at eight PM in the suspicious streets of our lecherous suburbia?!

 **HolyImage:** jeonghan, shut up. Or I make you.

 **twixlet:** that sounds kinky

 **BulliedLeader:** jisoo has many skeletons hidden in his closet...

 **danceprodigy:** ANYWAY  
**danceprodigy:** I wasn't expecting anything exciting to happen when suddenly three suspicious looking people crawled around the garden of a nearby house

 **DevilinDisguise:** it weren't murderer, werer hbtgböf

 **BulliedLeader:** ignore jeoghan, jisoo's taking care of him

 **DivaBoo:** you make it sound like a murder hyung

 **danceprodigy:** can I continue without interruptions or does anyone else have smth unimportant to say?

 **BulliedLeader:** sorry chan, pls continue

 **danceprodigy:** first I thought it was some kind of robbery taken place and I was ready to call the police when a fourth figure climbed out a window and slid down a rope made of bed sheets and ran away with the other three

 **twixlet:** maybe some sort of kidnapping?

 **danceprodigy:** it didn't look like guy number four was unwilling

 **smileshine:** rebellious teenagers that ran away from home to feel cool  
**smileshine:** did they steal their parent's car?

 **DivaBoo:** not everyone is you, babe

 **danceprodigy:** they did drove away in a car, looked like an Audi, the expensive kind

 **BulliedLeader:** the kind like mingyu and minghao own?

 **danceprodigy:** nah not _that_ expensive

 **DivaBoo:** speaking of them, where are they? I haven't heard of them at all today

 **BulliedLeader:** maybe some business meeting  
**BulliedLeader:** they are busy people after all

 **CuteDevil:** When they aren't busy appearing on some runway

 **twixlet:** jihoon hyung! Help us!

 **smileshine:** we're trying to solve a mysterious runaway of four people in an Audi chan witnessed earlier

 **CuteDevil:** The fuck are you babbling about?

 **smileshine:** you have an Audi, don't you? Anyone in mind who could own like that?

 **CuteDevil:** you do know that type of car ain't rare?

 **danceprodigy:** oh I forgot! There was another person running after the four rebels, screaming like a banshee  
**danceprodigy:** they kinda scared me  
**danceprodigy:** luckily it was dark

 **DevilinDisguise:** who scared my baby!?

 **DivaBoo:** welcome back, hyung  
**DivaBoo:** how was jisoo hyung's treatment?

 **DevilinDisguise:** great, he fucked me up hard

 **HolyImage:** language!

 **BulliedLeader:** do we want to know what is implied by that...?

 **HolyImage:** nothing sexual, I can assure you  
**HolyImage:** I wouldn't touch jeonghan with gloves on

 **DevilinDisguise:** wow, you become more and more charming with each day passing by  
**DevilinDisguise:** so, who's the culprit that scarred my baby's heart 

**smileshine:** dunno

 **DivaBoo:** we wouldn't know

 **CuteDevil:** probably Heechul

 **DivaBoo:** WHAT 

**twixlet:** how do you know?

 **BulliedLeader:** heechul who?

 **DivaBoo:** junnie hyung's twin, kinda obsessed with keeping junnie away from anything that so much as breathes when he's around

 **DevilinDisguise:** what's with people and their obsessive behaviour around my junnie  
**DevilinDisguise:** those leeches need to be removed

 **HolyImage:** keep that up and you can count yourself one of them

 **BulliedLeader:** jun has a twin? O.o

 **CuteDevil:** Why am I not surprised your knowledge is limited to the most basic stuff.  
**CuteDevil:** Doesn't matter, it's not something jun likes to talk about anyway, mostly because the majority of us aren't fond of his twin

 **Klazomaniac:** you mean bacteria

 **HolyImage:** where were you coming from

 **Klazomaniac:** I was lurking

 **KittenLover:** translation: he waited for an opportunity to jump in  
**KittenLover:** #pathetic

 **DevilinDisguise:** is this a 96 line kind of thing?  
**DevilinDisguise:** appearing one by one?

 **KittenLover:** we perfected the art of conversing down to the bone

 **BulliedLeader:** I'm slightly concerned...

 **twixlet:** where's jun hyung then?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** here

 **twixlet:** doesn't sound like him

 **DivaBoo:** can we focus on an important detail here?  
**DivaBoo:** how does jihoon know the screaming banshee was heechul?

 **CuteDevil:** cause he's crazy like that  
**CuteDevil:** and we had to be fast or else we would've been gotten caught

 **Klazomaniac:** lucky us your car is bulletproof

 **CuteDevil:** yeah it definitely comes in handy sometimes

 **BulliedLeader:** correction: I _am_ concerned  
**BulliedLeader:** why in the name of every sane being on earth were you running from this heechul?

 **Klazomaniac:** we had to rescue junnie!!

 **BulliedLeader:** rescue?!

 **KittenLover:** we had no choice. Jun's was locked in and wonhui hold hostage

 **BulliedLeader:** wonhui?

 **Klazomaniac:** junnie's cat  
**Klazomaniac:** wonwoo's birthday present for him a year ago

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** it's the cutest cat ever! *.*  <3  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** and sorry hansolie, wonwoo took my phone cause I was drowsing  >.<

 

**private chat: what even (2)**

**DivaBoo:** you're really desperate, aren't you? ^.-

[KittenLover _has left the chat_ ]

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**

 **HolyImage:** that's sweet and all but have you thought of the consequences your actions could bring along?  
**HolyImage:** what if heechul called the police and accuses you of kidnapping and/or trespassing?

 **Klazomaniac:** well, I had called the police before to inform them about that bacteria's craziness  
**Klazomaniac:** one minus one becomes neutral so there shouldn't be any problems

 **BulliedLeader:** sigh where's minghao when you need him?

 **smileshine:** he and mingyu are really quiet  
**smileshine:** they haven't been online all day

 **DevilinDisguise:** maybe busy fucking each other

 **HolyImage:** jeonghan!

 **BulliedLeader:** JEONGHAN!

 **DevilinDisguise:** what?  
**DevilinDisguise:** come on guys, am I the only one sensing this sexual tension between them? You can't tell me there's nothing between the two  
**DevilinDisguise:** they're _owning_ a magazine that covers half naked models – mingyu one of them (dat boy's mighty fine~). There has to be some thirsting, at least from minghao's side

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** well, hyung ain't wrong...

 **HolyImage:** don't get sucked to the dark side, junnie  
**HolyImage:** please stay pure  
**HolyImage:** as pure as one can be at your age

 **DivaBoo:** I'm sure wonwoo wouldn't mind ^^

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** not sure what you're talking about, hyung, but okay!^^  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** jeonghan hyung, you know minghao's gonna kill you once he reads this, right? He knows how to get away with murder, he's a police apprentice after all

 **DevilinDisguise:** you're in as deep as I am, junnie

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** nah I'm safe  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** who do you think he learned that from? ;)

 **DivaBoo:** I suddenly feel very scared  
**DivaBoo:** of _jun hyung_  
**DivaBoo:** is that even possible?

 **KittenLover:** minghao can try but he won't get past me that's for sure

 **BulliedLeader:** are we back to that?

 **CuteDevil:** _apparently_

 **Klazomaniac:** I can see the dryness in your voice, jihoonie  
**Klazomaniac:** cheer up, we're together, that's all that matters

 **CuteDevil:** right :D

 

**chat: mysterious relationship between the 96liners**

**DivaBoo:** am I the only one sensing some SoonHoon in here~?

 **BulliedLeader:** I wonder how you come up with all those … you know what I mean

 **twixlet:** ship names, hyung

 **BulliedLeader:** ah yes, thanks hansolie

 **twixlet:** *^o^*

 **DevilinDisguise:** soonhoon, wonhui, whatever, I'm for polygamy

 **HolyImage:** just because you're a hyper-sexual and greedy human being

 **DevilinDisguise:** seriously, why are you attacking me lately? Have I done something wrong?

[HolyImage _left the chat_ ]

**DivaBoo:** I suggest a couple therapy

 

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**

00.13 AM  
**whinyElf:** the fuck is this fucking shit?!  
**whinyElf:** jeonghan hyung, you're on top of my hit-and-die list, just so you know  
**whinyElf:** and wonwoo hyung, your criminal record gets re-evaluated. I suggest you stay low for a while

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** hao and I don't _fuck_  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** we-

[neverendinggrowspurt _has left the chat_ ]

**whinyElf:** Good night.

00.34AM  
**DevilinDisguise:** _I knew it_.


	11. It's winter depression's fault!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo left for his exchange program  
> minghao and mingyu get into a serious fight  
> seokmin's done with verkwan's bullshit  
> wonwoo and jun are hiding more than they let on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was craving some drama (cause my life doesn't have enough at the moment, apparently) *said life shows its middle finger*  
> Don't expect much of a plot line - there's none. Well, the whole gc fic has none.  
> I really have no clue where I'm going with this. I just had the urge to let WonHui have their own little background story (as my muse strongly pushes this idea I may use this inspirational part for a short story). Oh the pain of being controlled by your own characters >.<

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**  
11.00AM  
**smileshine:** why is everyone so gloomy these days?

 **whinyElf:** it may have to do with wonwoo leaving, jun hyung being down because of that even though he pretends he's fine (as usual) and everyone hopping on the bandwagon cause they're pathetic followers  
**whinyElf:** I call those people fake ass bitches

 **danceprodigy:** wow someone's one his period

 **whinyElf:** shut up chan  
**whinyElf:** I didn't adopt you so you can roast me. Jeonghan exists for a reason

 **DevilinDisguise:** excuse me, _that's_ not my reason of life!

 **whinyElf:** what else could it be? You're either procrastinating or stealing someone's hard work

 **DevilinDisguise:** oh come one, don't tell me you're still salty about the fashion week

 **Klazomaniac:** what fashion week??

 **whinyElf:** the one where mingyu and I were absent the whole day  
**whinyElf:** turns out jeonghan submitted a new fashion line under HIS name, even though I worked to 60% on that shit  
**whinyElf:** btw another repeat of your assumptions of our arrangement and I'm gonna wushu your asses back in the wombs of your mothers

 **Klazomaniac:** Why weren't we invited?? Where's your solidarity??  
**Klazomaniac:** and wow jeonghan hyung, that's mean

 **whinyElf:** who cares?! I certainly don't! Stop whining, it's annoying, hyung

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** minghao, that's enough! Go back to bed, you're cranky

 **whinyElf:** fuck off you're not my mother!

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** back.to.bed.

 **whinyElf:** I'll make you regret your life choices mingyu

[neverendinggrowspurt _removed_ whinyElf _from the chat_ ]

**CuteDevil:** I thought that was my assignment?  
 **CuteDevil:** Not that I complain it being taken, it takes a lot of time to indulge in the shit mingyu says.

 **HolyImage:** then don't do it?

 **Klazomaniac:** that goes against jihoonie's principles

 **BulliedLeader:** he has those?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** minghao was just a tad bit upset, mingyu, no need to remove him  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** he ain't as tough as he makes us believe he is

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I know hyung  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** but his attitude is a no go

 **CuteDevil:** A few, seungcheol, yes. One: use others' competences to my advantage. Two: following recent happenings in the world I came to the conclusion putting oneself first is best. Three: criticise mingyu's life, or rather, existence; for a life he needs a purpose which he doesn't have.

 **twixlet:** damn, that's harsh, even for jihoon hyung

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** that's not really nice, jihoonie :/

 **DevilinDisguise:** we need to discipline him, and minghao  
**DevilinDisguise:** but for that to happen our thug needs to be _there_. Your interference made it harder for us parents, mingyu

 **BulliedLeader:** you hardly qualify as a parent, jeonghan

 **HolyImage:** true, I pray for every living being on earth that's under jeonghan's “watchful” gaze

 **smileshine:** guys, don't you care what jihoon hyung implies? That we're nothing but a cost-benefit ratio to him? O.o

 **BulliedLeader:** I'm really not surprised, Jihoon's capitalistic behaviour isn't new  
**BulliedLeader:** I'm more surprised by your high standard of vocabulary, seokmin

 **smileshine:** I have a master degree in psychology for a reason hyung

 **DivaBoo:** shouldn't we rather talk about mingyu's ill-mannerism and his capacity to remove people from the chat?  
**DivaBoo:** I mean that's _my_ job

 **twixlet:** and here I thought for a second you care about your friends' images

 **DivaBoo:** that's why you shouldn't think, it ain't one of your best qualities

 **twixlet:** how about you stop getting involved in other's businesses?

 **smileshine:** could you two stop? I can't stand your pointless bickering anymore!

 **Klazomaniac:** woah seokminnie and mad? That's unusual

 **DivaBoo:** shut up soonyoung, none of your business

 **twixlet:** ha see! You have such double standards  
**twixlet:** others can't get involved but you're allowed to poke your nose into everything  
**twixlet:** how about you reflect on your shady character for once?

 **danceprodigy:** uuh guys...

 **DivaBoo:** how about you leave? I never asked for you sticking around, especially when it comes to my relationship with seokmin

 **twixlet:** _YOUR_ relationship?! fuck that shit, this is a three way arrangement, you selfish prick  
**twixlet:** how about you leave?

 **smileshine:** You know what, save that, you two.  
**smileshine:** I'll leave. I'm done with playing peacemaker between the two of you! I haven't signed up for a children's quarrel

 **DivaBoo:** seokmin, love, wait!

[smileshine _has left the chat_ ]

**HolyImage:** that escalated quickly

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** you don't say

 **danceprodigy:** it's strange seeing mingyu not being his teenage girl persona around jisoo hyung  
**danceprodigy:** and aren't you calling them out for cursing, jisoo hyung?

 **HolyImage:** I'm too shocked right now

 **Klazomaniac:** right? The whole situation is absurd

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I'm not a teenage girl!

 **CuteDevil:** and all because hansol and seungkwan act like kindergarten kids

 **DivaBoo:** you're no better. You insult whoever you see fit

 **CuteDevil:** But I didn't drove _Seokmin_ away. I draw the line there.

 **HolyImage:** I have to agree, that was a bit much

 **danceprodigy:** why do you have to fight with hansol all the time, hyung?

 **DivaBoo:** you know what, I'm out  
**DivaBoo:** I don't need all of you ganging up against me

[DivaBoo _has left the chat_ ]

**DevilinDisguise:** if this goes on this chat won't exist much longer

 **twixlet:** well, it's seungkwan who created it so I don't care. It's probably for the better, karma and stuff

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** hansol, that's enough  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** seungkwan has his faults but so does everyone. Stop dragging him through the mire

 **twixlet:** I can do what I want, okay?! I get sick of your annoying lectures of what I did wrong and why I can't be more mature!  
**twixlet:** I'm not a kid 

**CuteDevil:** the way you act prove the opposite

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** seungkwan and you need to sort your stuff out  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** we can help if you can't

 **twixlet:** gosh no! Don't interfere in my life! I'm not sorting anything out cause that dickhead won't listen, got it?  
**twixlet:** get yourself a life.

 **Klazomaniac:** watch your tone, mister

 **twixlet:** oh come on. It's not my fault you keep babying us younger ones in a pathetic attempt to have some sort of life. I'm done here

 **DevilinDisguise:** I advise we all calm down and come back after we cooled down 

**HolyImage:** agreed  
**HolyImage:** (can't believe I'm agreeing with you) 

**BulliedLeader:** I really wonder where we went wrong...

 **twixlet:** everywhere!

[twixlet _has left the chat_ ]

**private chat: we're bringing sexy back**  
10.45PM  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** wonwoo, you said to call you when I can't sleep, right?  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** can I call you? I need to hear your voice...

 **KittenLover:** Of course  
**KittenLover:** Is there a specific reason?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** well... I miss you ... and you have left for only a week. That's crazy, isn't it? I must be crazy

 **KittenLover:** It's not. _You_ aren't crazy. I miss you, too. But that's not the only reason, is it?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** … why can't I hide anything from you  >.<

 **KittenLover:** It's my talent.

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I can see your smug face coming out my phone

 **KittenLover:** Handsomeness should be shared after all^^  
**KittenLover:** Now, enough messaging. I'll call you, it's less expensive that way

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** thanks, Won, I appreciate it lots  <3 

 

 **chat: COMICS with 1/3 of the parents (7)**  
01.01AM  
**KittenLover:** jun's upset, someone explain 

**danceprodigy:** what do you mean?

 **KittenLover:** well, how about you start with the moment everything crumbled down while I wasn't online for a week?!

 **BulliedLeader:** believe me, I'm still searching for a reasonable answer  
**BulliedLeader:** I haven't found one yet

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** it may has to do with a lack of communication on both sides

 **KittenLover:** don't get smart with me now, mingyu  
**KittenLover:** I'm upset enough already, knowing I'm far away and won't be able to do anything regarding this mess

 **DivaBoo:** *gasp* is wonwoo catching feelings for someone else than himself (and junnie hyung)?

 **danceprodigy:** ignore seungkwan, hyung  
**danceprodigy:** he's not himself due obvious reasons

 **KittenLover:** I heard about that

 **DivaBoo:** that topic is FORBIDDEN  
**DivaBoo:** and we got it under control

[smileshine _has left the chat_ ]

**neverendinggrowspurt:** sure you do

 **DivaBoo:** I have the urge to punch you in your fucking handsome face, asshole

 **danceprodigy:** you're one to talk, hyung  
**danceprodigy:** I talked to minghao hyung and he ain't happy _at all_

 **BulliedLeader:** how bad is it?

 **danceprodigy:** cold war 2.0  
**danceprodigy:** think siberia when met with one of minghai's bad moods, add antarctica whenever you so much as hint about mingyu, complete it with the oldest known ice age when you dare mention mingyu's name

 **DivaBoo:** suddenly my urges have been satisfied  
**DivaBoo:** mingyu suffering helps lift the mood

 **KittenLover:** that's shit and all but I wanna know what made him a shattered mess of doubt

 **DivaBoo:** that hasn't been enough drama??  
**DivaBoo:** wow jun hyung's colder than I thought

 **BulliedLeader:** you know very well that jun isn't like that, seungkwan  
**BulliedLeader:** could you explain further, wonwoo?

 **KittenLover:** he was constantly questioning if he was too overbearing, too annoying and if he didn't gave the younger ones enough space

 **DivaBoo:** dunno

 **Klazomaniac:** it's hansol  
**Klazomaniac:** he said some careless comment about feeling attacked  
**Klazomaniac:** *image attached* 

**KittenLover:** what kind of kindergarten did this group turn into?

 **DivaBoo:** don't blame us, it's the winter depression  
**DivaBoo:** makes everyone antsy

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** that's the reason seokmin broke up with you and hansol?

 **DivaBoo:** he didn't, okay  
**DivaBoo:** we're taking a break

 **danceprodigy:** whatever  
**danceprodigy:** just sort it out soon  
**danceprodigy:** the whole issue puts a damper on the group

 **KittenLover:** yeah, and talk to hansol  
**KittenLover:** there must be more to his strange behaviourthan he lets on.

 **BulliedLeader:** _you're_ worried, wonwoo?

 **KittenLover:** oh shut up hyung. I have my moments, okay.

 

 **private chat: ;MM; (2)**  
05.55AM  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** minghao, can we talk?

 **whinyElf:** we talk

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I mean like adults, without me standing outside your door and you answering occasionally with grunts

 **whinyElf:** that's how humans used to speak to each other  
**whinyElf:** I apologise if that is TOO LOW for you

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** really?? You're pulling that stupid card again?

 **whinyElf:** stupid?!  
**whinyElf:** of course you think of it as stupid. Who gave you the right to judge what's stupid and whatnot?? just because you think you're better than everyone else? Fuck off, mingyu  
**whinyElf:** I don't wanna talk to your presumptuous face

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** you know what, _fine_  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** i'll leave  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** Have fun moping

 **whinyElf:** i'm not moping!

 **whinyElf:** … mingyu...?

 

 **chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13**  
10PM  
**whinyElf:** uuh guys, has anyone seen mingyu?

 **DevilinDisguise:** why?

 **whinyElf:** he hasn't come to work  
**whinyElf:** he NEVER misses work

 **CuteDevil:** Since when do you bother with mingyu?

[CuteDevil _changed the group chat to_ dysfunctional gossip family of 13 missing 3 idiots]

CuteDevil: Also, this is more accurate, I assume

 **chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13 missing 3 idiots**  
10.05PM  
**whinyElf:** since I have to do his half of paper work

 **HolyImage:** for a second I had the delusional thought minghao _cares_ for mingyu

 **DevilinDisguise:** you are delusional  
**DevilinDisguise:** you believe there's only one god out there

 **HolyImage:** that's not being delusional, it's called being a believer

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I believe in myself, does that mean I'm a god as well?

 **danceprodigy:** that means I can built a shrine for my legs?  
**danceprodigy:** I believe in their strength to carry me from competition to competition

 **HolyImage:** that's not how it works!

 **DevilinDisguise:** you can't tell people what to believe in or you contradict yourself, so shut up jisoo

 **HolyImage:** I hate you all  >.<

 **BulliedLeader:** sweet

11PM  
Klazomaniac: smth must've happened to mingyu  
**Klazomaniac:** he would've jumped on the opportunity to coo at jisoo hyung and defend him against us

 **whinyElf:** you don't think he got in an accident, right?

 **ConfidencelevelMax:** *gasp* you worry about him, minghao?

 **whinyElf:** shut up hyung  
**whinyElf:** if he can't come to work for weeks who do you think has to do the whole paper work? ME. I have enough on my plate already.  
**whinyElf:** btw jeonghan hyung, sent me those damn documents over already! Your laziness puts a disaster to out planned runway in three months!

 **DevilinDisguise:** you need to manage your bitchiness, minghao  
**DevilinDisguise:** perfection doesn't come from nothing. Patience is a virtue

 **danceprodigy:** what if mingyu hyung's dying? O.o

 **Klazomaniac:** that would be bad, really bad  
**Klazomaniac:** who's gonna bring good food to the school festivals? The kids will be sad...

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I'm not dead, don't jump to conclusions  
**neverendinggrowspurt:** and I'm glad you have your priorities straight, soonyoung hyung -.-

 **whinyElf:** where were you, you prick?!  
**whinyElf:** the staffs worried sick and I had to _comfort_ them  
**whinyElf:** do you have an idea what stress I received from that alone? Not to mention the police director is on my ass because some folders contain incorrect informations!

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** good for you. That way you may learn to show manners in front of others

 **whinyElf:** oh come on, you aren't still upset, are you? That's ridiculous

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** you're right, I AM ridiculous. Thinking you would care about me after all this time we spent together. I'm an idiot for hoping something may change.  
**neverendinggrowspurt** : I apologise for having a heart!

 **DevilinDisguise:** ha, I knew it!  
**DevilinDisguise:** you have something going on

 **HolyImage:** I believe this is not the right time, jeonghan...

 **CuteDevil:** I thought you believe in your God?

 **KittenLover:** how about you all stop attacking each other? It gets on my nerves.

 **whinyElf:** hyung, you idiot! It's all because of you. Your whole folder is a mess! You need to turn in a copy of your conditions of probation again or else the police considers it a break against your parole

 **BulliedLeader:** wonwoo, a wannabe gangsta?

 **danceprodigy:** I thought you were joking when you mentioned your criminal record, hyung! O.o

 **KittenLover:** could we discuss this another time? Did you have to mention this in this chat, minghao?  
**KittenLover:** it's something of the past anyway

 **whinyElf:** I'm moody, okay? Don't expect me to think straight 

**Klazomaniac:** technically, you aren't

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** chan, you didn't know?  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** not now, soonyoung

 **danceprodigy:** NO?? you did?!

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** well, uuh... 

 

 **private chat: we're bringing sexy back (2)**  
11.55PM  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** you didn't tell anyone, right?!

 **KittenLover:** of course not, I promised, remember? I don't break promises, Junhui.

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** right, sorry. … I didn't mean to doubt your loyalty ...

 **KittenLover:** I know, kitten.  
**KittenLover:** I always got your back.

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** as you have mine  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** you're very important to me, wonwoo, you know that, right?

 **KittenLover:** it's tattooed on my skin, how could I forget?  
**KittenLover:** enough sappiness. Jihoon seemed to have solved the dead end you manoeuvred yourself into.

 

 **chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13 with 3 idiots missing**  
11.59PM  
**CuteDevil:** We all know.

 **HolyImage:** who do you mean with “all”?  
**HolyImage.** I certainly don't belong to that part 

**BulliedLeader:** neither do I

 **CuteDevil:** Jun, soonyoung, me and Minghao, obviously. That just proves how dense you all are.

 **DevilinDisguise:** I'm sure you wanted to write “dumb” instead

 **CuteDevil:** Look at you, perceptive and stuff.

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** your skill to deliver sarcasm and dryness over test is impressive, hyung

 **CuteDevil:** Thank you, mingyu. That won't get you in my good graces though.

 **Klazomaniac:** shouldn't we think about a way to reconcile the 3 idiots, as jihoonie put it so nicely?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** yeah, them being on bad terms, especially hansolie and seungkwan, is painful to watch :/

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** you are aware they're _always_ on bad terms, hyung??

 **KittenLover:** keep your smartassery to yourself, mingyu.

 **DevilinDisguise:** for the sake of this frail group I will refrain from any comment regarding the happenings that occurred seconds ago

 **danceprodigy:** you experiencing sympathy, hyung? That's new!

 **DevilinDisguise:** to the more pressing issue: our intervention will make it worse, remember hansol's outburst? He wouldn't be happy. Let them sort it out themselves. If it doesn't progress we can consider giving a helping stance  
**DevilinDisguise:** your bonding time with minghao really needs to stop, chan

 **BulliedLeader:** you amaze me again and again with your ability to actually respect other people's wishes

 **HolyImage:** you aren't the only one, cheol

 **DevilinDisguise:** I appreciate your love for me

 **CuteDevil:** Don't be fooled, they're just polite.

 **DevilinDisguise:** I hate you, too, jihoon


	12. No Solidarity Anywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the trio is still apart  
> the others don't know what to do  
> the group chat falls apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the long wait, I just had so much to do there was little to no time to take a breath and sit down for some good ol' writing. Now I got a little space so I hope I can write more till I'm busy again... Hope you like this chapter. Thank you all for the kudos and comments till now! Appreciate them lots <3

**dysfunctional gossip family of 13 with 3 idiots missing**  
10.01AM  
**danceprodigy:** look what I found when I scrolled through our spam gc  
**danceprodigy:** it's really funny

 **DevilinDisguise:** good, I could really need some fun today... send it, channie

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** are you ok, hyung?? you sound down

 **DevilinDisguise:** nah, don't worry, mingyu, I'm fine. Just being under the weather

 **private chat: JiHan, bitches (2)**  
10.05AM  
**HolyImage:** what happened, jeonghan? Don't lie to me

 **DevilinDisguise:** it's nothing, jisoo. It's just the weather

 **HolyImage:** I said not to lie to me

 **DevilinDisguise:** *sigh * I'll tell you later?

 **HolyImage:** Jeonghan.

 **DevilinDisguise:** promise. I just need some time to sort stuff out, alright?

 **HolyImage:** ...fine. I dare you to break your promise.

 **DevilinDsguise:** wouldn't dream ot it. Love you, jisoo.

 **HolyImage:** Love you, too, han.

 

 **dysfunctional gossip family of 13 with 3 idiots missing**  
10.45AM

 **Klazomaniac:** will you hurry, chan?? I have things to do

 **danceprodigy:** calm your tits, hyung  
**danceprodigy:**  


> **twixlet:** just found out my birthday is the same day I was born  
>  **twixlet:** life is crazy
> 
> **HolyImage:** I'm pretty sure you stole that line from a vine
> 
> **twixlet:** what is a vine?
> 
> **HolyImage:** ...nevermind
> 
> **neverendinggrowspurt:** how did hansol manage to get into college again?
> 
> **Thughao:** college and common sense aren't connected, that's why  
>  **Thughao:** else he'd been kicked out a long time ago  
>  **Thughao:** like you
> 
> **twixlet:** you guys are mean!
> 
> **neverendinggrowspurt:** that was once!!  
>  **neverendinggrowspurt:** will you ever let that go??
> 
> **PrinceHosh:** speaking of vines...
> 
> **CuteDevil:** soonyoung NO!
> 
> **PrinceHosh:** what!!  
>  **PrinceHosh:** I haven't even done anything
> 
> **CuteDevil:** the thought alone is enough when it comes to you
> 
> **BulliedLeader:** will there be a day soonyoung and jihoon won't bicker...?
> 
> **HolyImage:** I can hear your exhaustion through the text. I'm mildly disturbed
> 
> **neverendinggrowspurt:** you shouldn't be hyung  
>  **neverendinggrowspurt:** cheol hyung is just old, it's probably the cold that got to him
> 
> **BulliedLeader:** yah, what's with the disrespect
> 
> **Thughao:** imitation fits better  
>  **Thughao:** still...  
>  **Thughao:** good one mingyu
> 
> **DivaBoo:** why do I have the feeling it took you a great amount of strength to say these words?  
>  **DivaBoo:** and since when do you listen to jihoon, soonyoung?
> 
> **Thughao:** you have no idea
> 
> **PrinceHosh:** cause he's the head
> 
> **twixlet:** are you in some kind of gang?
> 
> **smileshine:** I read cause he gives head lol
> 
> **DivaBoo:** love, no... just no. I doubt jihoon knows how to do that
> 
> **twixlet:** are you one to talk?
> 
> **DivaBoo:** wanna fight?
> 
> **KittenLover:** topic change, please. I do not wish to know about your sex life.
> 
> **DevilinDisguise:** you're just salty your sex life is basically non-existent since you've been born
> 
> **KittenLover:** stop butting in other people's business, hyung, seriously. You're in no position to judge.
> 
> **HolyImage:** the TRUTH
> 
> **DevilinDisguise:** why are you so keen on bullying me, jisoo? Is that some kink of yours?
> 
> **DivaBoo:** hyung, you know your obsession with jisoo hyung's behaviour towards you is even weirder?
> 
> **smileshine:** one could think you've got a thing for him
> 
> **whinyElf:** I didn't need that image to be conjured in my head *shudder*
> 
> **DevilinDisguise:** there's no “got a thing”, seokminnie  
>  **DevilinDisguise:** I swear you hang out with seungkwan too much 

**neverendinggrowspurt:** so technically it's jeonghan hyung's fault seokminnie broke up with verkwan

 **whinyElf:** obviously

 **DevilinDisguise:** what!  
**DevilinDisguise:** I didn't do anything!

 **HolyImage:** like always  
**HolyImage:** that's the problem

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** am I the only one concern about hansolie's state of mind sometimes?

 **whinyElf:** funny coming from you  
**whinyElf:** *concerned

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** what do you mean O.o

 **whinyElf:** dude, you're like the weirdest person I know

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** oh...  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** but wonwoo is weirder?

 **danceprodigy:** that's a different scale, hyung  
**danceprodigy:** and mingyu's right, you ARE the problem, jeonghan hyung

 **DevilinDisguise:** the disrespect  
**DevilinDisguise:** I'm not a homewrecker!!

 **whinyElf:** we never said you are  
**whinyElf:** we only say you're part of the mess

 **Klazomaniac:** and that after your big words of being mindful and all that BS  >:(

 **CuteDevil:** Ooh, you made soonyoung mad.

 **KittenLover:** why am I weird?

 

**private chat: 2 devils is 1 too much (2)**

**DevilinDisguise:** I feel the happiness radiating off of you

 **CuteDevil:** You should be ecstatic you made me feel such a strong _positive_ emotion.

 **DevilinDisguise:** I hate you to the core

 **CuteDevil:** Don't worry, the feeling is mutual.

 

**chat: dysfunctional gossip family of 13 with 3 idiots missing**

**danceprodigy:** do you really need to ask, hyung?  
**danceprodigy:** and I vote for jeonghan hyung to solve the mess he caused

 **whinyElf:** ^

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I agree

 **Klazomaniac:** pay for your sins

 **CuteDevil:** Truth.

 **DevilinDisguise:** I pleadge innocence!

 **HolyImage:** you're outvoted on this, jeonghan  
**HolyImage:** don't try to fight this and do what's been ordered

 **DevilinDiguise:** I hate it when you go all bossy on me  >-<

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** hate as in like? 

**CuteDevil:** Don't cause disturbing images in my head, Jun. 

**KittenLover:** isn't it more disturbing that you even fantasise about it?

 **CuteDevil:** You want me to cross the ocean and beat your ass?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** kinky

 **whinyElf:** you really beg for it, mingyu

1.15PM  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** let's think of a way to reconcile the threesomes  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** *three  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** damn autocorrect  >.<

 **DevilinDiguise:** should I wonder why your phone automatically writes threesome _S_?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** cause my dream is to be sandwiched  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** damn it, hyung, can't you focus on the important things?

 **danceprodigy:** uuh, hyung's mad

 **CuteDevil:** You sure don't see that often.

 **BulliedLeader:** is it another wonwoo episode?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** are you serious right now?  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** three of the youngest go through a break up and all you can think about is wonwoo having done something?

 **BulliedLeader:** ...nevermind

 **HolyImage:** Jun, calm down, cheol meant only good  
**HolyImage:** and ignore jeonghan, you know how he is

 **DevilinDiguise:** it was the perfect opportunity

[ConfidenceLevelMax _removed_ DevilinDiguise _from the chat_ ]

**danceprodigy:** that escalated quickly

 **HolyImage:** _Wen Junhui_  
**HolyImage:** that is not how you treat your hyungs

 **BulliedLeader:** jun, take a deep breath, you're high strung on emotions

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I won't _calm down_  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** hansolie refuses to come out his room and when he does he blankly stares into nothingness, seungkwan's crying his heart out and doesn't sleep or eat at all, blaming himself for everything and seokmin isn't smiling at all, avoiding going near any place the three of them went to!  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** it hurts my heart to see them this heart-broken. And it's all because we haven't taken care of them enough!  
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** so I dare one of you to tell me to calm down. I'm gonna wushu you back to where you came from. And if you want us to treat you as a hyung you maybe should start to act like one!

 **whinyElf:** hyung, no need to become violent, it won't help  
**whinyElf:** and it's not like we don't care for them 

**Klazomaniac:** junnie, I know you're worried but getting stressed doesn't solve anything  
**Klazomaniac:** (you're such a hypocrite minghao)

 **HolyImage:** heartbreak isn't easy, they'll come around  
**HolyImage:** in the state they're in there won't help anything we'd try to do. And watch your tone, young man.

[ConfidenceLevelMax _has left the chat_ ]

**neverendinggrowpsurt:** well, that didn't go as planned I assume

 **whinyElf:** where's wonwoo hyung when you need him...  
**whinyElf:** (you want me to prove you the opposite, hyung?)

[HolyImage _added_ DevilinDisguise]

**HolyImage:** you're more trouble than you're worth 


	13. Get Your Ish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the trio is happily reunited  
> Seungcheol has attention issues  
> soonyoung's getting exposed and bullied  
> what else does one need?

**BulliedLeader:** remember when I told you to always plan enough time in your schedule?

 **danceprodigy:** ehm no

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I'm pretty sure that was jeonghan hyung

 **whinyElf:** I thought it was my mother 

**Klazomaniac:** as mingyu said, jeonghan hyung

 **DevilinDiguise:** I love you, too, my children

 **whinyElf:** do we really have to go over this again, hyung? Do you need to retake your biology classes?

 **BulliedLeader:** guys...

 **HolyImage:** what is it, seungcheol

 **BulliedLeader:** why does nobody appreciate me?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I do, hyung.

 **DevilinDiguise:** don't fall in his trap, junnie. He's just melodramatic again cause nobody indulges in whatever pity party he'd planned

 **BulliedLeader:** one day karma's gonna strike you, yoon jeonghan 

**DevilinDiguise:** sweetheart, I AM karma

[CuteDevil _changed_ DevilinDiguise _to_ Karma'SaLiaR]

**CuteDevil:** I couldn't resist.

 **BulliedLeader:** I love you, jihoon

 **CuteDevil:** You're welcome.

 **Karma'saLiaR:** why do you do this to me, you fake

 **twixlet:** I'm confused. I thought jihoon was in a relationship with the 96liners? O.o

 **KittenLover:** do I wanna know how you came to that conclusion...?

 **Karma'saLiaR:** I assure you you don't

 **KittenLover:** that only increases the uneasy feeling in my stomach...

 **BulliedLeader:** the reason I wrote that message was-

 **smileshine:** because you craved attention  
 **smileshine:** we understand, hyung

 **BulliedLeader:** what, no  
 **BulliedLeader:** what's with you all and ganging up against me?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** it lies in our nature to prep you for life, hyung

 **danceprodigy:** shouldn't it be the other way around?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** semantics

 **Karma'saLiaR:** that's not a small thing, Wen Junhui!  
 **Karma'saLiaR:** we as your hyungs have the responsibility to guide you through the stormy adventure that is life 

**whinyElf:** who gave him drugs?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** it's probably a part of the script hyung started to write

 **KittenLover:** he hadn't given up the delusional idea of becoming a move director?  
 **KittenLover:** *movie

 **Karma'SaLiar:** film, you mongrel  
 **Karma'SaLiar:** when will you appreciate the beauty of the British language??

 **whinyElf:** maybe when you start being honest

 **twixlet:** BURN

 **Klazomaniac:** damn, minghao's out for a hunt

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** it's more minghao being tired of jeonghan's schemes when it comes to designing. He doesn't take any bullshit

 **whinyElf:** damn right  
 **whinyElf:** another episode like the last one and I make sure you'll lose your feet in the industry

 **Karma'SaLiar:** you wouldn't dare

 **whinyElf:** watch me

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** don't fight, guys, please :/  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** also, it was me who took care of the younger ones before you came along, jeonghan hyung

 **BulliedLeader:** I don't need another drama 

**DivaBoo:** are you throwing shade, hyung? -.=  
 **DivaBoo:** junnie hyung, you're still the better mother figure  <3

 **HolyImage:** just to stop the ridiculous spam giving my phone a heart attack  
 **HolyImage:** why did you write in the gc seungcheol?

 **BulliedLeader:** thank you, jisoo. You're a gift sent from heaven.  
 **BulliedLeader:** I noticed that I haven't calculated the four o'clock rush hour and missed the train I was supposed to take

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** that reminds me of the time soonyoung missed the bus one time and came late to his date^^  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** love you, too, seungkwannie ^.^  <3

 **KittenLover:** right.   
**KittenLover:** wasn't that the one he pretended he met coincidentally while the truth was he stalked that person?

 **CuteDevil:** That's correct. soonyoung had never been a good actor.  
 **CuteDevil:** Hasn't he pissed himself out of nervousness?

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** yeah and I had to lent him a pair of jeans, my only black ones  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** btw I haven't seen them ever since

 **Klazomaniac:** that's a secret!!  
 **Klazomaniac:** you can't just spill it!!  
 **Klazomaniac:** you promised!!

 **CuteDevil:** Shame on you, soonyoung. How could you bunker Jun's jeans?

 **DivaBoo:** I have no clue what they're talking about

 **Karma'SaLiar:** Me too, I'm out the loop

 **twixlet:** must be a 96er thing

 **smileshine:** I wasn't aware soonyoung had ever been on a date. I thought he's forever single

 **Klazomaniac:** mean!! that's jihoon, not me  
 **Klazomaniac:** and it wasn't on purpose, junnie. I just forgot, I'm sorry. I return them to you!!

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** it's fine, you can keep them   
**ConfidenceLevelMax:** I took mingyu's for compensation^^

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** what!  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** so that's why I was missing one!! See, hao, I'm not a scatterbrain!!

 **whinyElf:** if you expect an apology forget it

 **DivaBoo:** shouldn't you be more concerned about the fact junnie hyung seems to horde clothes that don't belong to him?  
 **DivaBoo:** especially _mingyu's_  
 **DivaBoo:** is there something you aren't telling us? Wonwoo, you should watch out

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** the length of our legs are similar, I don't fit in wonwoo's or soonyoung's  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** and he has a great style

 **smileshine:** did you test it out?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** thanks, hyung  <3

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** of course ~.^  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** soonyoung's legs are too short and wonwoo's are almost sticks  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** you're welcome :3

 **Karma'SaLiar:** I'm very amused by this whole thing  
 **Karma'SaLiar:** and you do well in throwing shade, junnie 

**KittenLover:** I'm not sure how I should react to this...  
 **KittenLover:** do you wanna receive a beating, Boo Seungkwan?

 **Klazomaniac:** neither do I

 **HolyImage:** please stop cackling jeonghan. Our neighbour looks frightened  
 **HolyImage:** I do not wish to explain to her again that we don't do exorcism and she doesn't need to call any facility specialised in supernatural stuff

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** for real??

 **HolyImage:** unfortunately yes, it gave me grey hair

 **Karma'SaLiar:** stop being a drama queen, jisoo. Just dye your hair, it wouldn't be the first time

 **HolyImage:** I refuse to spent money on a result you're responsible for!  
 **HolyImage:** and stop calling me jisoo, you know I hate that name!

 **danceprodigy:** not another fight, I'm trying to study here  
 **danceprodigy:** and what is this about soonyoung hyung pissing himself because of a date?

 **Karma'SaLiar:** poor boy, hasn't he been properly toilet trained as a kid?

 **DivaBoo:** he probably forgot, that idiot  
 **DivaBoo:** should we buy him pampers?

 **Karma'SaLiar:** that might be good, just to be sure

 **smileshine:** guys, stop bullying soonyoung  
 **smileshine:** he can't do anything about the fact that he can't hold his water 

**Klazomaniac:** damn it chan!! everyone had overseen it and then you come!!

 **danceprodigy:** if you had let me study in peace than this wouldn't have happened

 **BulliedLeader:** kids, no fighting  
 **BulliedLeader:** soonyoung, do you have a bladder weakness?

 **Klazomaniac:** I don't!!  >.<  
 **Klazomaniac:** it was one time, I had too much tea before that  
 **Klazomaniac:** damn you, jihoon. Why did you have to mention that?

 **CuteDevil:** I just continued the story, don't put the blame on me. Jun started the whole thing.

 **KittenLover:** not our fault when you behave like a toddler.

 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** why do you throw me under the bus, jihoonie?  >.<

 **Klazomaniac:** I hate you all

 **KittenLover:** we love you, too.


	14. Of Clothes and Blackmail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu's petty  
> Minghao's cheerful  
> Chan's brooding and everyone else is in for the ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's been four months since the last update... Damn, talk about irregularity.   
>  On another side, I was searching for a certain topic involving WonHui (obviously) I was jotting down weeks ago and used the search button in Word which resulted in me finding out that the most used phrase Junhui says in my latest drafts and stories is "I have Wonwoo". Not that this isn't true lmao Just wanted to let that out here in the more or less WonHui drought... I need my babies >.<
> 
> Anyway, enjoy reading^^

**neverendinggrowspurt:** who of you imbeciles took my 245 euros expensive leather jacket??

 **smileshine:** dunno what you're talking about

 **twixlet:** yeah, I don't even _wear_ them  
 **twixlet:** shouldn't you ask minghao or so? 

**KittenLover:** who even spends so much money on freaking clothes?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** it's not just clothes!! it's a limited edition!!  
 **neverendinggrowspurt:** and I got it from Karl Lagerfeld personally!!

 **KittenLover:** so?

 **Karma'SaLiar:** look at mingyu using capital letters  
 **Karma'SaLiar:** he must be very besotted with the man

**BulliedLeader:** _besotted_

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** argh

 **whinyElf:** give up, mingyu. Wonwoo hyung has so sense for the importance fashion holds

 **CuteDevil:** None of us have except you two.  
 **CuteDevil:** And who are you calling an imbecile, Mingyu?

 **twixlet:** oh shit, hyung used a capital M O.o

 **DivaBoo:** that's the quality drama I'm living for 

 

08.02PM  
 **ConfidenceLevelMax:** I'm sorry...?

11.34PM  
 **Karma'SaLiar:** we should've known it was junnie  
 **Karma'SaLiar:** he's the only one who accumulates mingyu's clothes

 **DivaBoo:** I find it interesting how you swerved around the word 'steal'  
 **DivaBoo:** if it were someone else you wouldn't have refrained from using it

 **BulliedLeader:** is there a bigger picture I'm not seeing?

 **Karma'SaLiar:** ignore him, cheol. Kwannie's a bit off due the weather, am I right?

 **DivaBoo:** what are you talking about, hyung?

 **Karma'SaLiar:** am.I.right?

 **DivaBoo:** …  
 **DivaBoo:** yes...

 

 **group chat: mysterious relationship btw 96 liners (9)**  
09.34PM  
 **danceprodigy:** there's something bothering me since I was sucked into the circle of doom

 **Karma'SaLiar:** what is it child?  
 **Karma'SaLiar:** you should be in bed already

 **HolyImage:** maybe it's you

 **Karma'SaLiar:** rude

 **danceprodigy:** while jeonghan hyung gives me a headache more times than not it's something else  
 **danceprodigy:** and I'm not a teen anymore -.-

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** has it to do with you writing in this chat instead of the group chat?

 **whinyElf:** that's obvious, IMBECILE

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** you really keep that thing going??  >.<

 **whinyElf:** till the day you die^^

 **BulliedLeader:** I feel uneasy whenever minghao's using an emoji

 **DivaBoo:** right? One immediately knows their fate

 **danceprodigy:** guys can we return to the topic?

 **Karma'SaLiar:** right, I'm sorry, channie

 **BulliedLeader:** what bothers our little one?

 **DivaBoo:** …

 **HolyImage:** …

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** never say that again

 **twixlet:** you having a baby king, hyung?  
 **twixlet:** *kink

 **smileshine:** jihoon hyung would've given you shit for that :D

 **HolyImage:** is it just me or has seokminnie become more vicious towards verkwan?

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** I noticed, too, hyung!!

 **whinyElf:** * insert jihoon's we get it, mingyu *

 **DivaBoo:** *sigh* did you have to mention that?  
 **DivaBoo:** I regret having taken seokminnie's kindness for granted

 **twixlet:** me too  
 **twixlet:** we shall suffer together

 **smileshine:** you're dramatic little shits

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** *gasp*

 **Karma'SaLiar:** *fell off the chair*

 **BulliedLeader:** so we reached stage 3 huh?

 **HolyImage:** don't act so surprised, jeonghan. With you around it's a wonder there are still people around who stayed relatively untouched...  
 **HolyImage:** and what-

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** please, don't ask, hyung!!

 **HolyImage:** -in the name of God is stage 3?

 **whinyElf:** too late...  
 **whinyElf:** now I have to suffer through another stupidity 

**danceprodigy:** GUYS!!!!

 **smileshine:** oh hi channie

 **Karma'SaLiar:** ah right, my child wanted to say something

 **danceprodigy:** I deftly ignore the possessive pronoun and the description for a younger person that hasn't reached maturity yet

 **whinyElf:** that's what I call a nice description of jeonghan hyung's biology crisis

 **DivaBoo:** maybe it's more a problem with his psyche?

 **smileshine:** I gladly analyse that^^ and check your general mental state

 **HolyImage:** chaos, vicious sadistic chaos, nothing more, nothing less  
 **HolyImage:** jeonghan's lost to the good part of the world

 **danceprodigy:** guys!!  
 **danceprodigy:** there is a much more important topic: can someone solve the riddle called wonhui's own communication style?

 **BulliedLeader:** no secret codes, please, I suck at them

 **Karma'SaLiar:** you suck a few things ;)

 **neverendinggrowspurt:** TMI, hyung!!

 **HolyImage:** why ain't I surprised...

 **DivaBoo:** enough of cheol hyung's sucking habits  
 **DivaBoo:** chan, elaborate!

 **twixlet:** kwannie's in his fanboy mode, you better answer

**Karma'SaLiar:** _kwannie?!_

**danceprodigy:** have you never noticed that they never shout at each from across the room, rather walk over and whisper in each other's ear? They do it all the time, huddled together, giggling over stuff only they know. I never heard them raise their voice to tell each other whatever

 **DivaBoo:** you're right, my senses are tickling

 **BulliedLeader:** seungkwan, please, whatever your mind is conspiring, let it go, I beg you

 **DivaBoo:** I don't know what you're talking about??

 **whinyElf:** you write like soonyoung and mingyu, obviously you know exactly what's going on

 **smileshine:** I find it interesting how you either attack mingyu or mention him, minghao^^

 **danceprodigy:** true! You're like wonhui just the negative side

 **whinyElf:** …

 **DivaBoo:** minghao's speechless, quick, capture that

 **HolyImage:** I call dips on that for future measurements

 **Karma'SaLiar:** you mean blackmail?  
 **Karma'SaLiar:** and “we”, shua, it's our folder

 **HolyImage:** semantics


End file.
